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In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion

Nowadays, athletes as well as sport team's performances are broadcasted everyday by taking huge part of TV programs time. While, it is considered by some that this trend is a vivid reason of youth deny about doing some kind of sport. I strongly believe, that constant showing sport  programs on TV may discourage young generation from physical activities, on the hand there may be an controversial influence, if it is shortaged in their time. Initially, vast majority of population are fans of various football or basketball teams, especially this trend is common  among juniors who also are audience of their tournaments. Admittedly, they are obsessed by athletes performance as well as with their personality by following their style, haircut or other features. Hence, they spend most of their time, observing favourite team's games however there is immense problem that youth are just observers. For this reason, different kind of illnesses are covering not only adults but also youngsters. Bright example to it, American teenagers who suffer from obesity or eyesight disease due to over sitting in front of the scrins. Consequently, it may be an evidence that full coverage of sport on television do not motivate contemporary young generation to repeat their exploits in sport field. In addition, it can be explained by the easiness of enjoying with particular kind of sport game through scrins than doing long-lasting, exhausted training in sportcomplexes. As a result, toddlers who used to watching amazing championships online, rest assured, choose virtual  versions of sports rather than making it alive. Secondly, if children practice playing football, swimming  from their early ages, it will give huge impact them to do their best in that area. Furthermore, for them, siiting around the TV will be considered as a waste of time. As an illustration, we are aware of the most famous athletes from Africa where there is no condition to watch TV let alone matches. As a result, if youth did not watch sport tournaments all day long, society would not face with this problem. In conclusion, by considering both all aspects of issue, we can tell that broatcasting sport competitions in enough measure will be an effective solution to promotion of physical activities among youngers. Not eradicate, but cut the time, devoted to sport programs will motivate youth to take up sport who could not fully enjoyed with the sportmen's performance.
Nowadays, athletes
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
team's performances
are broadcasted
everyday by taking huge part of TV programs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, it
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that this trend is a vivid reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
deny about doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. I
strongly
believe, that constant showing sport
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
programs on TV may discourage young generation from physical activities, on the hand there may be
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
controversial influence, if it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
shortaged
in their time.

Initially
,
It seems that an article is missing.
vast majority of
population are fans of various football or basketball teams,
especially
this trend is common
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
among juniors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
also
are audience of their tournaments.
Admittedly
, they
are obsessed
by
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "athletes'" or "athlete's"?
athletes
performance
as well
as with their personality by following their style, haircut or other features.
Hence
, they spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, observing
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
team's games
however
there is immense problem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
observers.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of illnesses are covering not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
youngsters. Bright example to it, American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suffer from obesity or eyesight disease due to over sitting in front of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
scrins
.
Consequently
, it may be an evidence that full coverage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
on television do not motivate contemporary young generation to repeat their exploits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
field.
In addition
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the easiness of enjoying with particular kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
game through
Possible spelling mistake found.
scrins
than doing long-lasting, exhausted training in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportcomplexes
.
As a result
, toddlers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to watching amazing championships online, rest assured, choose virtual
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
versions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
rather
than making it alive.

Secondly
, if children practice playing football, swimming
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
from their early ages, it will give huge impact them to do their best in that area.
Furthermore
, for them,
Possible spelling mistake found.
siiting
around the TV will
be considered
as a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As an illustration, we are aware of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
athletes from Africa where there is no condition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone matches.
As a result
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
tournaments all day long, society would not face with this problem.

In conclusion
, by considering both all aspects of issue, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
broatcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
competitions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
measure will be an effective solution to promotion of physical activities among
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
. Not eradicate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, devoted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
programs will motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
could not
fully
enjoyed with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportmen
's performance.
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IELTS essay In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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