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The amount of drinkable water for people is decreasing. Why is this? What can be done?

The quantity of usable freshwater for people is diminishing. Population growth and pollution cause such global and serious problem. There are a number of solutions to cope with the shortage of drinkable water. Firstly, overpopulation gives rise to demand on water resources, which is considered one of the significant reasons of the issue noted above. In other words, growing demand for food with increasing population leads to excess water use. Secondly, industrial, chemical, biological and household emissions pollute water. As a result, harmful substances such as pesticides, metals and toxins produced by bacteria, spoil the quality of water by getting into its composition. There are two efficient solutions to deal with water scarcity problem. The first and foremost way is taking responsibility for actions and understanding their consequences. If each person invests their efforts and try to change the perception, this issue can be tackled, because everything depends on people. Another method is protection of water from pollution by developing cleaning technologies. It can help not only to prevent water contamination, but also filter and apply the water. In conclusion, resource saving by each person and technology improvement are effective in dealing with the issue.
The quantity of usable freshwater for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
diminishing. Population growth and pollution cause such global and serious problem. There are a number of solutions to cope with the shortage of drinkable water.

Firstly
, overpopulation gives rise to demand on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources, which
is considered
one of the significant reasons of the issue noted above.
In other words
, growing demand for food with increasing population leads to excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Secondly
, industrial, chemical, biological and household emissions pollute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
As a result
, harmful substances such as pesticides, metals and toxins produced by bacteria, spoil the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
by getting into its composition.

There are two efficient solutions to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
scarcity problem. The
first
and foremost way is taking responsibility for actions and understanding their consequences. If each person invests their efforts and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the perception, this issue can
be tackled
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everything depends on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Another method is protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from pollution by developing cleaning technologies. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contamination,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
filter and apply the water.

In conclusion
, resource saving by each person and technology improvement are effective in dealing with the issue.
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IELTS essay The amount of drinkable water for people is decreasing. Why is this? What can be done?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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