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The advantages and disadvantages of watching TV.

The advantages and disadvantages of watching TV. 8g6QG
You know - 21-age is modern technologies age. So you can find televisions evry homes for each members. Of course this is very good. However, there are good and bad sides. For example it is very convenient an item for observing news, fun times and bad effects for humans health. Firstly good points, you may observing countries' news and life. You want. Certainly it brings fun because of there are a lot of different channels of evry countries at this modern time than ago. Secondly watching telivision is the more inexpensive social media than others. Usually many families spend their good times behind TV. In spite of watching TV, nowadays our children prefer watching telivision than playing with their friends. Certainly this condition is worried our parents because children do not activity. In this case children are becoming close-minded and stubborn. If they play different games at the outdoor with friends. They will be cheerful, friendly, and energetic. Also to much watching telivision have an influence for brain and damaged eyes so distance is 3 meters to watch and 30 minutes. All things considered, all time evrybody have to watch be enough time do not waste their times and keep health.
You know
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
21-age is modern technologies age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you can find televisions
Possible spelling mistake found.
evry
homes for each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "member"?
members
.
Of course
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

However
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, it".
example it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient an item for observing news, fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects for humans health.

Firstly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points, you may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "observe"
observing
countries' news and life. You want.
Certainly
it brings fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
channels of
Possible spelling mistake found.
evry
countries at this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than ago.

Secondly
watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
telivision
is the more inexpensive social media than others.
Usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families spend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
behind TV.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
watching TV, nowadays our children prefer watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
telivision
than playing with their friends.
Certainly
this condition
is worried
our parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children do not activity.
In this case
children are becoming close-minded and stubborn.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
games at the outdoor with friends. They will be cheerful, friendly, and energetic.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
Did you mean "too"?
to
much watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
telivision
have an influence for brain and damaged eyes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
distance is 3 meters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and 30 minutes.

All things considered, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
evrybody
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
do not waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
health.
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IELTS essay The advantages and disadvantages of watching TV.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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