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that the internet is part and parcel of our life

that the internet is part and parcel of our life EdG1L
Everybody knows that the internet is part and parcel of our life. As for me, I tend to believe that the extended making use of the internet has a mostly positive influence on people's life all around the world. I feel this way for two reasons, which I would explore in what follows. The primary reason lies in the fact that the internet is a fast way to keep yourself updated on what goes on around the world. Nowadays, countless events are happening at each moment, and it is important for people to be aware about them as soon as possible. The internet provides a wide environment that all news and events will spread easily. Because of this advanced technology, governments will not be able to disappear and hide some events. Hence, communities and their affairs will be more obvious. As a result, the opportunity is up for people to complain against some decisions and contribute to a number of social activities. Also, people can help each other to build a better universe. Another subtle point is that by making use of the internet educational systems can improve. Students can make use of the internet for doing their monster projects and assignments. They are able to surf on the internet and access to a wide variety of information. Furthermore, the opportunity is up for student to compare and contrast their information with other sources such as printed materials. Hence, students gain a deeper understanding of what they are researching, and we will have a dynamic educational system. Also, this comparing ability can help them to land a good job in the future, and they will be more successful individuals. According to the reasons have been discussed in the preceding paragraphs, it can be claimed that thanks to the internet people can keep themselves updated about world events. Moreover, making use of the internet can help both students and educational systems to be more active and dynamic.
Everybody knows that the internet is part and parcel of our life. As for me, I tend to believe that the extended making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet has a
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life all around the world. I feel this way for two reasons, which I would explore in what follows.

The primary reason lies in the fact that the internet is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
yourself updated on what goes on around the world. Nowadays, countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are happening at each moment, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be aware about them as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. The internet provides a wide environment that all news and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
will spread
easily
.
Because of this
advanced technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
will not be able to disappear and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
Hence
, communities and their affairs will be more obvious.
As a result
, the opportunity is up for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to complain against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decisions and contribute to a number of social activities.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other to build a better universe.

Another subtle point is that by making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet educational systems can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet for doing their monster projects and assignments. They are able to surf on the internet and access to a wide variety of information.
Furthermore
, the opportunity is up for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to compare and contrast their information with other sources such as printed materials.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain a deeper understanding of what they are researching, and we will have a dynamic educational system.
Also
, this comparing ability can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to land a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in the future, and they will be more successful individuals.

According to the reasons have
been discussed
in the preceding paragraphs, it can
be claimed
that thanks to the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves updated about world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
Moreover
, making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and educational systems to be more active and dynamic.
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IELTS essay that the internet is part and parcel of our life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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