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is it a good or bad decision

is it a good or bad decision yDwnP
A great number of people think that the end of the basic school is in one of the most beautiful epochs for young people even more for the students who have already finished colleague, for this reason some students opt to take a breath before starting university to travel around the world, meet people and new cultures or just to earn money and enjoy. In my opinion I agree with the idea of taking a year out, only if there are an important reason to do it. As well as the time and energy that university requires is the most demanding item for students, the money is another problem. Personally, I consider the context of a student as a variable that must be taken in account, it is not a crime to not continue immediately with the next academic step, moreover, a financially and mentally prepared person could face a radical change in his life successfully. Contrary to, there are persons who decide to continue without any break and desert in the first period of university for not feeling secure on what they really want to study. For example, I used to had a partner who join 3 different careers because he felt pressure on making a bad decision, so he finally lost 2 entire years. To sum up, the essay is focused on show the reasons why its good to take one sabbatical year and get ready to the next step. Anything that produces something good in a person will be consider positive in his future, and in this case if a student achieves the peace he needs before continuing studying, he will gain more confidence in himself and will have experiences that other classmates do not.
A great number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the basic school is in one of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
epochs for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even more for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have already finished colleague,
for this reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opt to take a breath
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting university to travel around the world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and new cultures or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to earn money and enjoy. In my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of taking a year out,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if there are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason to do it.

As well
as the time and energy that university requires is the most demanding item for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, the money is another problem.
Personally
, I consider the context of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
as a variable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
in account, it is not a crime to not continue immediately with the
next
academic step,
moreover
, a
financially
and mentally prepared person could face a radical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in his life
successfully
.

Contrary to, there are persons who decide to continue without any break and desert in the
first
period of university for not feeling secure on what they
really
want to study.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Did you mean "to have"?
to had
a partner who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
careers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he felt pressure on making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
finally
lost 2 entire years.

To sum up, the essay
is focused
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the reasons why its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to take one sabbatical year and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready to the
next
step. Anything that produces something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in a person will be
Consider using the past participle "considered"?
consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in his future, and
in this case
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
achieves the peace he needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
continuing studying, he will gain more confidence in himself and will have experiences that other classmates do not.

IELTS essay is it a good or bad decision

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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