Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree that television has destroyed communication between friends and families

that television has destroyed communication between friends and families VwmrA
Interaction between family and friends has spark alot of controversies due to the introduction of television and other electronic devices like the mobile phone. Some people are of the view that television has eliminated communication between friends and families while other think otherwise. I strongly agree to this view point and I'm going to give some reasons why in this essay. Firstly, people may argue that television has brought a sense of belonging to relatives and peers because most of them often watch television together. Although this reason may seem right, it also applies to less 45% of families and friends. A research by the UG team in Ghana revealed that most people(80%) prefer not be engaged in form of communication when watching television. Another fact from the research is that, 95% of the people interviewed said that they prefer to watch movies alone at home than to hang up with their friends or relatives. This trending attitude has brought an abrupt connection between loved ones leading to peer pressure among the youth. This is because families do not get time for each other prefer to watch television than engage their children or relatives in a conversation to know how they are faring. Again, since the introduction of television in many home there have been an increase in social vices like drug abuse, arm robbery and even prostitution. This is a result of movies and music videos displaying violent and harmful acts on the screens. Alot of the youth engaging in these acts are as a result of these scenes. In conclusion, I think television has done more harm than good through the increase in social vices and peer pressure among the youth.
Interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
has
Use past participle here: "sparked".
spark
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of controversies due to the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and other electronic devices like the mobile phone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has eliminated communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this view point and I'm going to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why in this essay.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has brought a sense of belonging to relatives and peers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
together. Although this reason may seem right, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
less 45% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
by the UG team in Ghana revealed that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people(80%)
prefer not
be engaged
in form of communication when watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. Another fact from the research is that, 95% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interviewed said that they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies alone at home than to hang up with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or relatives. This trending attitude has brought an abrupt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
leading to peer pressure among the youth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time for each other prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
than engage their children or relatives in a conversation to know how they are faring.

Again, since the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in
Possible agreement error. The noun home seems to be countable; consider using: "many homes".
many home
there have been an increase in social vices like drug abuse, arm robbery and even prostitution. This is a result of movies and music videos displaying violent and harmful acts on the screens.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alot
of the youth engaging in these acts are
as a result
of these scenes.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has done more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
through the increase in social vices and peer pressure among the youth.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay that television has destroyed communication between friends and families

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts