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that protecting wild animals and birds have taken too much attention and money from the public, I partly agree with this idea and also think that some particular concerns should be given to preserving these animals and birds.

that protecting wild animals and birds have taken too much attention and money from the public, I partly agree with this idea and also think that some particular concerns should be given to preserving these animals and birds. El8EL
Some people argue that protecting wild animals and birds have taken too much attention and money from the public, I partly agree with this idea and also think that some particular concerns should be given to preserving these animals and birds. On the one hand, I do not believe that it is human's responsibilities to protect wild animals and birds. The extinction of some certain species natural selection to choose the best individuals that give birth to the next stronger generations; as a result, all of this create the chain of natural development. Moreover, there are many aspects which directly affect human's benefits that people should be worried about such as the lack of food or natural disaster, these problems should be the priority and spent money on to tackle immediately On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why we should protect wild animals and birds. Firstly, some animals affect the balance of natural environment, and protecting them means the protection of natural surrounding as a whole. For example, if wild bees become extinct, flowers and plants will die out sooner or later because bees play a significant role in the production of flora. Secondly, the need to preserve endangered animals and birds is undeniable. Illegal hunting and the destruction of wildlife Inhabitat are way out of control. If the governments do not impose some regulations about these problems, the extinction of these creatures is just the matter of time, and the world will no longer see them again. In conclusion, although I believe that we should pay attention to protecting wild creatures and birds to some extent, I also think that other problems such as drought and famine should be taken into account as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that protecting wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
have taken too much attention and money from the public, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular concerns should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to preserving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and birds.

On the one hand, I do not believe that it is
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human responsibilities"?
human's responsibilities
to protect wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
. The extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain species
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
selection to choose the best individuals that give birth to the
next
stronger generations;
as a result
, all of this create the chain of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
development.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects which
directly
affect
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human benefits"?
human's benefits
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be worried
about such as the lack of food or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
disaster, these problems should be the priority and spent money on to tackle immediately

On the other hand
, there are a variety of reasons why we should protect wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
affect the balance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
environment, and protecting them means the protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
surrounding as a whole.
For example
, if wild bees become extinct, flowers and plants will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out sooner or later
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
bees play a significant role in the production of flora.
Secondly
, the need to preserve endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
is undeniable. Illegal hunting and the destruction of wildlife
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inhabitat
are way out of control. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do not impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regulations about these problems, the extinction of these creatures is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the matter of time, and the world will no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them again.

In conclusion
, although I believe that we should pay attention to protecting wild creatures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that other problems such as drought and famine should
be taken
into account
as well
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IELTS essay that protecting wild animals and birds have taken too much attention and money from the public, I partly agree with this idea and also think that some particular concerns should be given to preserving these animals and birds.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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