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Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, please include why you are interested in studying the major(s) you have selected. If you selected undecided please describe your areas of possible academic interest

Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, please include why you are interested in studying the major(s) you have selected. If you selected undecided please describe your areas of possible academic interest VBwpA
Last year, I remember reading an article of Business Insider about Madison and why it is a beautiful city and how diverse and cultural the place was. It was a list of 7 reasons to visit Madison. The article informed a lot of things that happen in Madison throughout the year. The article mentioned about Food Festivals that happen at Madison, and Madison is known to be the greenest city in the nation, the Wisconsin idea-which improves people's lives outside the classroom. One of the mentions in the article was UW-Madison. The campus being a whopping 936 acres is also an isthmus in Madison between lake Mendota and lake Monona. Winters in Madison looks really beautiful, especially ice skating in the frozen lakes and Tenney park. And, I wish to take Ice Skating Lessons just to skate on the frozen lakes. The campus is really beautiful by itself by having State Street in the center with the Capitol Building at one end and the Bascom Hill at the other end. University of Wisconsin-Madison is a practical and versatile school. Ice skating is just the start for me, I intend to complete my degree in Finance, BBA at your university to become an Investment Banker in New York city (or Wall Street) and perhaps down the line I would get an- MBA and continue my career as a Banker. In WSB, there are a wide array of services and opportunities. This course prepares students to understand the risk and uncertainty, at an intuitive and technical level. Furthermore, as someone with a multicultural and multilingual background, I appreciate UW-Madison's diverse environment which will introduce me to new people with different values and backgrounds from all over the world. Beyond the classroom, UW-Madison also provides students with a variety of clubs and learning communities. I am particularly interested in Business Connect Learning community and Investment Banking Club which aims to build a strong foundation among students who have similar interest in the industry and even participate in Duff & Phelps university challenge. As for campus life, I love Madison’s surroundings-I could take full advantage of all the outdoor opportunities in and around Madison. Me being a huge sports enthusiast I would love to cheer the badgers in both Camp Randall and Kohl center. While, studying at UW-Madison, I wish share my cultural knowledge and get to know more about the western culture. I would be delighted to spend the next 4 years at your university- becoming an investment banker, ice skating and cheering the badgers.
Last year, I remember reading an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
of Business Insider about Madison and why it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
city and how diverse and cultural the place was. It was a list of 7 reasons to visit Madison. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
informed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things that happen in Madison throughout the year. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
Did you mean simply "mentioned Food"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentioned about Food
Festivals that happen at Madison, and Madison
is known
to be the greenest city in the nation, the Wisconsin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
-which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
outside the classroom.

One of the mentions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
UW-Madison
. The campus being a whopping 936 acres is
also
an isthmus in Madison between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mendota
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
Possible spelling mistake found.
Monona
. Winters in Madison looks
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
,
especially
ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skating
in the frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lakes
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tenney
park. And, I wish to take Ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Skating
Lessons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to skate on the frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lakes
. The campus is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
by itself by having State Street in the center with the Capitol Building at one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bascom
Hill at the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

University of Wisconsin-Madison is a practical and versatile school. Ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skating
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
for me, I intend to complete my degree in Finance, BBA at your university to become an Investment Banker in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York city
(or Wall Street) and perhaps down the line I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an- MBA and continue my career as a Banker. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
WSB
, there are a wide
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "arrays"?
array
of services and opportunities. This course prepares students to understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and uncertainty, at an intuitive and technical level.
Furthermore
, as someone with a multicultural and multilingual background, I appreciate
Possible spelling mistake found.
UW-Madison
's diverse environment which will introduce me to new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
values and backgrounds from all over the world.

Beyond the classroom,
Possible spelling mistake found.
UW-Madison
also
provides students with a variety of clubs and learning communities. I am
particularly
interested in Business Connect Learning community and Investment Banking Club which aims to build a strong foundation among students who have similar interest in the industry and even participate in Duff & Phelps university challenge.

As for campus life, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
Madison’s surroundings-I could take full advantage of all the outdoor opportunities in and around Madison. Me being a huge sports enthusiast I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to cheer the badgers in both Camp Randall and Kohl center. While, studying at
Possible spelling mistake found.
UW-Madison
, I wish share my cultural knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know more about the western culture. I would
be delighted
to spend the
next
4 years at your university- becoming an investment banker, ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skating
and cheering the badgers.

IELTS essay Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, please include why you are interested in studying the major(s) you have selected. If you selected undecided please describe your areas of possible academic interest

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
422 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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