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Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities

Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities 0qYq
Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people and celebrities. It is known that too much is no good in anything. I agree the statement and I will assure you of my position The first reason to point out is that nowadays people's lifestyle and mentality toward living has changed. In other words, most of the people, young adults mainly, are spending most of their precious time to know personal lifes of celebrities. Where they go for holidays, what sort of clothes they wear, what kind of car they like and others It seems the media dig up these facts without giving thoughtful consideration to what might happen. It has an effect on the celebrity’s family, especially the children. A celebrity’s good name and credibility may be ruined before he or she can prove that rumors are false. If a case goes to court, paying a lawyer can use up all their money. Even if it doesn’t come to that, they may find their career ruined.
Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. It
is known
that too much is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in anything. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the statement and I will assure you of my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
position


The
first
reason to point out is that nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle and mentality toward living has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
In other words
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, young adults
mainly
, are spending most of their precious time to know personal
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. Where they go for holidays, what sort of clothes they wear, what kind of car they like and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
others


It seems the media dig up these facts without giving thoughtful consideration to what might happen. It has an effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity’s
family,
especially
the children. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
name and credibility may
be ruined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he or she can prove that rumors are false. If a case goes to court, paying a lawyer can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
up all their money. Even if it doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to that, they may find their career ruined.
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IELTS essay Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
173 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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