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Television has become a popular gadget among viewers. Do you think it has any educational value? Give your view?

Television has become a popular gadget among viewers. Do you think it has any educational value? Give your view? d9KKd
It is undeniable that due to advancement in technology TV become essential part of individuals life. It also provide a lot of knowledge to viewers related to their studies and other different areas such as, related to history and environment. To commence with, television is great source of information people can explore their knowledge related to history because at present it is cumbersome for some students and other people to find time to study history books so TV is best platform to watch movies related to history, which will be helpful for some students during their examinations. For instance a movie name black Prince provide great information regarding the history of last king of Punjab according to a survey it has revealed that before watching this movie on TV 70% of people had no knowledge about who is black Prince. TV not only helps us to know about history but also people can know about environment and living creatures and there are various channels on television that provide reality about how animals live together like discovery channel. Moreover it is boon for mankind and person can also watch some reality shows which can inspire them to do a lot of hard work in their life because there are are also some dance competitions with the aid of some humans can get knowledge about how to do dance in a better way. For example, one show name dance India dance it motivate thousand of people to do dance as well as many people learn about dance from the show. Similarly it is also helpful for a student's either by gaining information regarding on subjects of their study or related to general knowledge. For instance during corona pandemic much students learn about their subjects through television channels and and review from students was also best because on TV by visuals they can easily understand their lessons or general knowledge. In conclusion, even though nowadays mobile phone has come, in my opinion I think television is excellent place to enhance educational information related to history and environment.
It is undeniable that due to advancement in technology TV become essential part of individuals life. It
also
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to viewers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to their studies and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and environment. To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is great source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can explore their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at present it is cumbersome for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find time to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
TV is best platform to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, which will be helpful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
during their examinations.
For instance
a movie name black Prince provide great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of last king of Punjab according to a survey it has revealed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
watching this movie on TV 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about who is black Prince. TV not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can know about environment and living creatures and there are various channels on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
that provide reality about how animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together like discovery channel.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it is boon for mankind and person can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which can inspire them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work in their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there
Possible typo: you repeated a word
are are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
competitions with the aid of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
humans can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about how to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
in a better way.
For example
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
name
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
it
Did you mean "motivates"?
motivate
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
it is
also
helpful for a student's either by gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding on subjects of their study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
For instance
during corona pandemic
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn about their subjects through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
channels
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
review from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was
also
best
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
on TV by visuals they can
easily
understand their lessons or general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
In conclusion
,
even though
nowadays mobile phone has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, in my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is excellent place to enhance educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and environment.
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IELTS essay Television has become a popular gadget among viewers. Do you think it has any educational value? Give your view?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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