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Technology is causing some problems in our life. Two what extent do you agree or disagree?

Technology is causing some problems in our life. Two what extent El5kx
Although it is true that technology has some drawbacks in our lives, I would argue that it is also beneficial to individuals and the environment as well. On the one hand, technologies can have negative impacts on people in some cases. Firstly, people who have been addicted to use technology, such as mobile phones or computers, can suffer from some health problems like disability to see as they have not prevented themselves from constantly utilizing technological devices before. Another simple negative effect of technology on individuals is that it can increase unemployment rates in most sectors of the job market, meaning that the positions of most jobs, namely mechanics or engineers, are being replaced by robots. As a result, many people do not have their own permanent jobs owing to this drawback of technology. In my view, people can benefit from technologies since they have transformed our lives at home and work. For instance, gadgets, like mobile phones, computers, televisions, microwave ovens and refrigerators, have improved living standards for those people who can afford them. Another simple example of the benefits from technology is improving the quality of the environment. For example, energy can be generated from renewable energy sources such as wind and solar power, which reduces our reliance on non-renewable energy sources such as fossil fuels. This helps to reduce the release of polluting gases to the atmosphere. In conclusion, while technologies have positive impacts on people in our lives, there are also some negative effects which technologies can have on both people and the environment.
Although it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, I would argue that it is
also
beneficial to individuals and the environment
as well
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
been addicted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, such as mobile phones or computers, can suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health problems like disability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
as they have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
themselves from
constantly
utilizing technological devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Another simple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on individuals is that it can increase unemployment rates in most sectors of the job market, meaning that the positions of most jobs,
namely
mechanics or engineers, are
being replaced
by robots.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
permanent jobs owing to this drawback of technology.

In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
since they have transformed our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
at
home and work.
For instance
, gadgets, like mobile phones, computers, televisions,

microwave ovens and refrigerators, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
living standards for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can afford them. Another simple example of the benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is improving the quality of the environment.
For example
, energy can
be generated
from renewable energy sources such as wind and solar power, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
our reliance on non-renewable energy sources such as fossil fuels. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the release of polluting gases to the atmosphere.

In conclusion
, while

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
technologies
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
can have on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the environment.
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IELTS essay Technology is causing some problems in our life. Two what extent

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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