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Deforestation as a global problem

Deforestation as a global problem OM5a7
Nowadays, Deforestation is one of the primary and serious problem, which people around the globe is now facing with. The meaning of “deforestation” is the removal of vast amount of tree and vegetation in many areas, especially in the forest. From my point of view, this activity leads to various outcome for human and animal inhabitant such as the rise of air pollution, soil erosion and etc. Vanishing these green inhabitants also is another factor for the global climate change, which our mankind always tries to handle it. In my opinion, I would like to suggest that deforestation is still an urgent challenge for us, because it transform the perspective of human well-being and embrace people to be fully aware of a world disaster. In order to defense lives of human and animal, there are two solutions for this problem. Firstly, reducing and consuming less product from wood such as paper can prevent the deforestation occurring in vary parts of the world. Logging industry is one of the business, that normalizes forestation as a business. Instead of using a normal book, buying an E-Book is exemplary alternative for this solutions. Another alternative is recycle paper product. Beside reusing old goods, recycle can produce an creative products and goods, which are eco-friendly. Consequently, two solutions are just an simple idea, that you can adapt and add to your own daily life. There are still many ways to deal with deforestation
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Deforestation
is one of the primary and serious problem, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the globe is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
facing with. The meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“deforestation”
is the removal of vast amount of tree and vegetation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas,
especially
in the forest. From my point of view, this activity leads to various outcome for human and animal inhabitant such as the rise of air pollution, soil erosion
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. Vanishing these green inhabitants
also
is another factor for the global climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, which our mankind always tries to handle it. In my opinion, I would like to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
is
still
an urgent challenge for us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "transforms"?
transform
the perspective of human well-being and embrace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be
fully
aware of a world disaster. In order to defense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of human and animal, there are two solutions for this problem.

Firstly
, reducing and consuming less product from wood such as paper can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
occurring in vary parts of the world. Logging industry is one of the business, that normalizes forestation as a business.
Instead
of using a normal book, buying an E-Book is exemplary alternative for
Did you mean "these"?
this
solutions. Another alternative is recycle paper product. Beside reusing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, recycle can produce
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
creative products and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, which are eco-friendly.

Consequently
, two solutions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
simple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, that you can adapt and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
daily life. There are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to deal with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
deforestation
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IELTS essay Deforestation as a global problem

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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