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The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore a chain of movie rental stores In order to stop the recent decline in our profits we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore s ten movie rental stores Since we are famous for o

The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore a chain of movie rental stores In order to stop the recent decline in our profits we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore s ten movie rental stores Since we are famous for o e5wyB
A memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore has stated that the movie-rental store has recently been facing a decline in their profits. In order to counter-act such a problem, the owner has suggested measures to reduce the operating costs, and has provided the example of a store in downtown Marston wherein the owner's suggested measures have been implemented. The owner is of the opinion that if such measures are implemented across all the Movies Galore stores, their profits will soon start to rise. The evidence provided by the owner seems legible at first glance, although a closer examination might unearth a few alternate possibilities, which might undermine the owner's position. Firstly, the owner has suggested that operating cost of stores can be reduced by closing them at 6: 00 P. M. rather than at 9: 00 P. M. By closing the stores three hours earlier, thw owner thinks that the operating costs can be reduced without jeopardizing their position as a store which offers great movies at lower prices. Such a situation might hold true, but what if in other areas, where Movies Galore operates, people appraoch the store at later hours of the day? If such a measure is implemented, there will be a sense of resentment among it's customers as customers will not be able to buy the movies at time which is suitable for them. As a result, there is a likelihood that these people will approach another store to buy movies which would seriously hamper the profits of Movies Galore and undermine the owner's suugestion. Secondly, the owner is of the opinion that stores should discard movies which have been released more than five years ago. The owner assumes that these movies will no longer be viewed by it's customers, and discarding these movies will help reduce operations cost. The owner has based such a suggestion on a wild assumption. What if the people, in one of the areas where Movies Galore operates, have an inclination for old movies? If such a case appears, then it would be likely that these customers would be disappointed since Movies Galore does not have older movies anymore. As a result, the customers of Movies Galore will search for new stores where all sorts of movies are available. This situation would add to the woes, already faced by Movies Galore and it will call into question, the owner's suggested plan of action. Lastly, the owner has failed to provide sufficient demographic data about the different areas where Movies Galore has it's movie rental stores. It could be possible that some areas where Movies Galore stores are situated do not bring any revenue to the company. It might be the case that the people in these areas prefer watching the movies on other online platforms. If such information is received from the demographic study, it would be ideal for the owner to shut down these stores. Such a situation might help the owner to direct resources to other stores which are doing better and it might be the case that the profits of Movies Galore returns, without having to cut operating costs. In sum, the evidence provided by the arguer is incomplete and inconsequential. The evidence are dubious in nature and point towards various alternate possibilities. As a result, it cannot be categorically stated if the owner's new approach, to conter-act the declining profits will be successful.
A memorandum from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore has stated that the movie-rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
has recently been facing a decline in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
. In order to counter-act such a problem, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
, and has provided the example of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
in downtown
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marston
wherein the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
have
been implemented
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
is of the opinion that if such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
are implemented
across all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to rise. The evidence provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
seems legible at
first
glance, although a closer examination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
unearth a few alternate possibilities, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
undermine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner's
position.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by closing them at 6: 00 P. M.
rather
than at 9: 00 P. M. By closing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
three hours earlier,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
without jeopardizing their position as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
which offers great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at lower prices. Such a situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
hold true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what if in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore operates,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
appraoch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
at later hours of the day? If such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
is implemented
, there will be a sense of resentment among it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
will not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at time which is suitable for them.
As a result
, there is a likelihood that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will approach another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which would
seriously
hamper the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore and undermine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner's
Possible spelling mistake found.
suugestion
.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
is of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
should discard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which have
been released
more than five years ago. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
assumes that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
will no longer
be viewed
by it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
, and discarding these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
operations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
has based such a suggestion on a wild assumption.

What if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore operates, have an inclination for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
? If such a case appears, then it would be likely that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
would
be disappointed
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore does not have older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
anymore.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore will search for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
where all sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are available. This situation would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the woes, already faced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore and it will call into question, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggested
plan of action.

Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
has failed to provide sufficient demographic data about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore has
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. It could be possible that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are situated
do not bring any revenue to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be the case that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
prefer watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on other online platforms. If such information
is received
from the demographic study, it would be ideal for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
to shut down these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. Such a situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
to direct resources to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
which are doing better and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be the case that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
Galore returns, without having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operating
costs.

In sum, the evidence provided by the arguer is incomplete and inconsequential. The evidence
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
dubious in nature and point towards various alternate possibilities.
As a result
, it cannot be
categorically
stated if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner's
new approach, to
Possible spelling mistake found.
conter-act
the declining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
will be successful.
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IELTS essay The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore a chain of movie rental stores In order to stop the recent decline in our profits we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore s ten movie rental stores Since we are famous for o

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
567 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore a chain of movie rental stores In order to stop the recent decline in our profits we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore s ten movie rental stores Since we are famous for o