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In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals. During a subsequent test of

In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals. During a subsequent test of 56kVp
The author claims that supply of ultraclean at all hand-washing stations throughout hospital system results the prevention of serious patient infection than that of other hospital that uses the liquid hand soaps. To bolster his claim, author cited some evidences but that are not sufficient. So, the author needs to cite the following evidences in order to make his argument more sound. Firstly, author claims that the concentrated solution of ultraclean produced the 40 percent reduction in bacteria population as compare to the liquid hand soaps, but he fails to cite the fact that, whether the concentrated solution of ultraclean hand soap is safe to use or not. There may be the possibility of harmful side effect to the hospital patient who uses the concentrated ultraclean in reference to liquid soaps rather it may show the initial effectiveness. So, the author must explain its authorized use among the patients. Secondly, the author claims that, the reduction of serious patient infection is as a result of replacing the liquid hand soap by the concentrated solution of ultraclean whereas he fails to include other factors in hospital that may also responsible in reduction of patient infections. Such as, reduction in the patient infection might be due to the increase priority in the proper management of hospital wastes and daily cleaning of hospital areas where the patient numbers is high. So, the author must explain these factors in order to bolster his argument. Last but not least, the author claims that, the serious patient reported significantly fewer in his hospital than other hospital group but he fails to explain the various factors beside the use of hand soap that are responsible for the increase in serious patient infection. In other hospital groups there might be lack of better management of hospital wastes, drinking water, toilet and bathrooms, sleeping beds of patient, etc. which are also more responsible in causing the patient infection. So, author must cite this facts regarding to other hospital groups in order to bolster his arguments. Due to lack of these evidences the claim of author expresses the flaws. In order to bolster his argument more effectively author should mention the above facts clearly.
The
author
claims
that supply of
ultraclean
at all hand-washing stations throughout
hospital
system results the prevention of
serious
patient
infection
than that of
other
hospital
that
uses
the liquid
hand
soaps
. To
bolster
his
claim
,
author
cited
some
evidences
but
that are not sufficient.
So
, the
author
needs to cite the following evidences in
order
to
make
his argument more sound.

Firstly
,
author
claims
that the
concentrated
solution of
ultraclean
produced the 40 percent
reduction
in bacteria population as compare to the liquid
hand
soaps
,
but
he fails to cite the fact that, whether the
concentrated
solution of
ultraclean
hand
soap
is safe to
use
or not. There may be the possibility of harmful side effect to the
hospital
patient
who
uses
the
concentrated
ultraclean
in reference to liquid
soaps
rather
it may
show
the initial effectiveness.
So
, the
author
must
explain
its authorized
use
among the patients.

Secondly
, the
author
claims
that, the
reduction
of
serious
patient
infection
is
as a result
of replacing the liquid
hand
soap
by the
concentrated
solution of
ultraclean
whereas he fails to include
other
factors in
hospital
that may
also
responsible in
reduction
of
patient
infections
. Such as,
reduction
in the
patient
infection
might be due to the increase priority in the proper management of
hospital
wastes and daily cleaning of
hospital
areas where the
patient
numbers is high.
So
, the
author
must
explain
these factors in
order
to
bolster
his argument.

Last
but
not least, the
author
claims
that, the
serious
patient
reported
significantly
fewer in his
hospital
than
other
hospital
group
but
he fails to
explain
the various factors beside the
use
of
hand
soap
that are responsible for the increase in
serious
patient
infection
. In
other
hospital
groups there might be lack of better management of
hospital
wastes, drinking water, toilet and bathrooms, sleeping beds of
patient
, etc. which are
also
more responsible in causing the
patient
infection
.
So
,
author
must
cite
this
facts
regarding to
other
hospital
groups in
order
to
bolster
his arguments.

Due to lack of these evidences the
claim
of
author
expresses the flaws. In
order
to
bolster
his argument more
effectively
author
should mention the above facts
clearly
.
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IELTS essay In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals. During a subsequent test of

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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