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Technological developments in this modern era have transformed the way we socialize

Technological developments in this modern era have transformed the way we socialize lR8w9
Everything has two sides, and the ‘effects of technology on people’s relationship’ is not an exception. We cannot deny how much technology transformed the individual reaction with others in his family and the surrounding community. There are both pros and cons of this development First and foremost, I think that the development of technology has enhanced the relationships people make and maintain. We have different fast and cheap methods to call our family and friends. In addition, we are informed on a daily basis with the last updates and news about our friends and family, so we can remember the birthdays, graduation parties and even marriage anniversary. For instance, when a student studies abroad and stays far away from his or her family and friends, social networking sites and other applications can help the student stay connected with his or her family and friends through Skype, In my opinion, in this case, this is a positive development to deal with homesickness or maintain our interactions with people we care about. By comparing to the past decade, when technology was not so advanced, people had to depend on letters to communicate with each other and that was a time-consuming method and it incurred higher cost In fact, the implication of technology on people’s relationship is a controversial issue. On the one hand, it is a positive development for helping people stay connected with family and friends and making new friends. On the other hand, the technology is affecting individual relationship badly, especially those who are addicted to using social networking platforms. As a matter of fact, people become talking to each other in a face-to-face method rarely. In particular, people’s personalities are changing so much, because of addiction in using Facebook. It’s one of the vital reasons to decrease confidence and self-esteem. Overall, as far as I am concerned, the advancement of technology has both positive and negative effects on the kind of relationships people make. We have to be aware that actual interaction is more important to enhance a relationship. We shall connect with family and friends virtually only if we are apart from them.
Everything has two sides, and the ‘effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship’
is not an exception. We cannot deny how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
transformed the individual reaction with others in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and the surrounding community. There are both pros and cons of this development

First
and foremost, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has enhanced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and maintain. We have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
methods to call our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
In addition
, we
are informed
on a daily basis with the last updates and news about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can remember the birthdays, graduation parties and even
Wedding anniversaries are the proper term to describe the anniversary of the day of a wedding.
marriage
anniversary.
For instance
, when a student studies abroad and stays far away from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, social networking sites and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
applications can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the student stay connected with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
through Skype, In my opinion,
in this case
, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development to deal with homesickness or maintain our interactions with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we care about. By comparing to the past decade, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advanced,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to depend on letters to communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and that was a time-consuming method and it incurred higher cost

In fact, the implication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
is a controversial issue. On the one hand, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay connected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and making new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is affecting individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
badly
,
especially
those who
are addicted
to using social networking platforms. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become talking to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in a face-to-face method
The adverb 'rarely' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
rarely
.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
personalities are changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of addiction in using Facebook. It’s one of the vital reasons to decrease confidence and self-esteem.

Overall
, as far as I
am concerned
, the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware that actual interaction is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to enhance a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. We shall connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
virtually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if we are apart from them.
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IELTS essay Technological developments in this modern era have transformed the way we socialize

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
355 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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