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Team sports are better than individual sports. Do you agree with this statement? Write your answer in at least 200 words. *

Team sports are better than individual sports. Write your answer in at least 200 words. * 5aO6m
Nowadays, playing sports is a crucial activity in our life to keep ourself healthier and more fit. Some individuals argue that individual sports are more beneficial than team sports while others are against that opinion. In general, there are a number of reasons why some people think that taking part in individual sports has more advantages. Example, people who choose to play solo sports such as swimming, tennis or golf. People have the opportunity to develop independence when taking part in these sports. No one to help them during the game, so they are forced to develop independent thinking and make their own decisions. Besides, players in solo sports know that their success depends mostly on their effort, determination and concentration. Therefore, these people always make every possible effort to achieve their goals. However I personally agree with the latter view that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams. It is not surprising that our culture participates in team sports more than individual sports. In all honesty, team sports tend to be more enjoyable to most people. Research supports this, and I personally had that experience growing up. I love team sports. These sports teach their players valuable life lessons that they could not learn from individual sports. Firstly, playing in team sports will help you learn to respect others. A team environment puts you in a place where you have to make things work and understand people. No matter how you perceive someone, every individual has goods and bads and team sport presents that truth in front of you, which helps you respect people more and accept them the way they are. Secondly, you will understand what the collective purpose is. We both know sport is driven by purpose. For someone, the purpose might be to justify their talent and for someone, it can be about giving their best. A team gives you a collective purpose: when the team succeeds, the individual succeeds and when the team fails, the individual still gets priceless lessons.
Nowadays, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is a crucial activity in our life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
healthier and more fit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
while others are against that opinion.

In general
, there are a number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has more advantages. Example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who choose to play solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as swimming, tennis or golf.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have the opportunity to develop independence when taking part in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. No one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them during the game,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
are forced
to develop independent thinking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.
Besides
, players in solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
know that their success depends
mostly
on their effort, determination and concentration.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every possible effort to achieve their goals.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view that it is more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which
are played
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
. It is not surprising that our culture participates in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. In all honesty,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
tend to be more enjoyable to most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Research supports this, and I
personally
had that experience growing up. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
teach their players valuable life lessons that they could not learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
sports.

Firstly
, playing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you learn to respect others. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
environment puts you in a place where you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things work and understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. No matter how you perceive someone, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
bads
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
presents that truth in front of you, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more and accept them the way they are.

Secondly
, you will understand what the collective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
is. We both know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is driven
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
. For someone, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
might be to justify their talent and for someone, it can be about giving their best. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
gives you a collective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
: when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
succeeds, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
succeeds and when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
fails, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
priceless lessons.
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IELTS essay Team sports are better than individual sports. Write your answer in at least 200 words. *

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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