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Task 2 : Parent should restrict the time which their child spend on TVS and computer games, and should make their children use that time for reading books. Do you agree of disagree?

Task 2: Parent should restrict the time which their child spend on TVS and computer games, and should make their children use that time for reading books. Do you agree of disagree? oR5M3
From a decade, Juvenile’s way of time utilization has become a debating issue. Some people argue that children should spend time in reading books than to use electronic media for entertainment. In this essay, I will support their views due to various personal and social development reasons. There is no doubt that books are necessary to increase personal and social bonds. Firstly, these help the child to become a good reader and grip a command over particular language. For example, books help the child to learn vocabulary, sentence structure and creativity while using the words. Consequent. . .
From a decade, Juvenile’s way of time utilization has become a debating issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that children should spend time in reading books than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic media for entertainment. In this essay, I will support their views due to various personal and social development reasons.

There is no doubt that books are necessary to increase personal and social bonds.
Firstly
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the child to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reader and grip a command over particular language.
For example
, books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the child to learn vocabulary, sentence structure and creativity while using the words. Consequent.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay Task 2: Parent should restrict the time which their child spend on TVS and computer games, and should make their children use that time for reading books. Do you agree of disagree?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
98 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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  • Task 2 : Parent should restrict the time which their child spend on TVS and computer games, and should make their children use that time for reading books. Do you agree of disagree?