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task 2 information obtained

task 2 information obtained xDQNQ
In today's era, all information is very easily accessible to various kinds of people. Most people think that sharing as much information as possible is necessary, especially in scientific research, business, and the academic world. However, several people assume that information will be too important or too valuable to be shared freely. In my opinion, information should be appreciated and supported better than over-shared. Information in the field of scientific research, business, and the academic world are too valuable to be shared freely due to it is not easily obtained. Knowledge is valuable and should be appreciated. For example, many people are willing to fight hard to obtain knowledge up to the university level. In purpose to study science and business in the academic world. The information is obtained but it sacrifices time, experimentation, ideas, and costs that are not small and not everyone can solve it. On the other hand, information is also important to be accessible to everyone. The correct information is also needed by the community so that people do not only have one view when absorbing certain information. The correct value must be needed in times of emergency also. Namely, during an economic crisis. Experts must specifically explain the state of the economy in detail and clearly so that people know and understand. In conclusion, It is decent to for sharing Information freely to the general public. However, we must also appreciate people who fight for information, especially in scientific research, business, and the academic world due to many factors that are sacrificed when certain people obtain it.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
accessible to various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that sharing as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as possible is necessary,
especially
in scientific research,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
However
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
will be too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
or too valuable to
be shared
freely
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be appreciated
and supported better than over-shared.

Information in the field of scientific research,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are too valuable to
be shared
freely
due to it is not
easily
obtained. Knowledge is valuable and should
be appreciated
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to fight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to obtain knowledge up to the university level. In purpose to study science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is obtained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it sacrifices time, experimentation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, and costs that are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and not everyone can solve it.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to be accessible to everyone. The correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
also
needed by the community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have one view when absorbing certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. The correct value
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be needed
in times of emergency
also
.
Namely
, during an economic crisis. Experts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
specifically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the state of the economy in detail and
clearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know and understand.

In conclusion
, It is decent to for sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
freely
to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who fight for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
especially
in scientific research,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that
are sacrificed
when certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
obtain it.
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IELTS essay task 2 information obtained

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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