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Talk about your opinion about Coronavirus in Syria

Talk about your opinion about Coronavirus in Syria Kwl29
Is the world going to survive from Coronavirus (COVID-19)? All people are wondering. Some of them are optimistic others are pessimistic. The Syrian government took all the precautionary measures to avoid the spread of this pandemic virus. On the other hand, we as Syrian citizens must follow the instructions and cooperate with our government. First of all, Quarantine is one of the important steps to do. Our government closed everything except pharmacies, Hospitals, Bakeries, Banks, Groceries and fast food shops in order to avoid gathering of people. In spite of that, Infected people increased. So they force everyone to stay home from 6: 00 pm to 6: 00 am. Secondly, they closed all kinds of borders (sea, land and air). Of course, they didn’t abandon Syrian citizens who were abroad and open the airport just to bring them back home. Then the government took them to isolated hotels for 14 Days to make sure they were not affected or carried the virus. Finally, we must stay home, cooperate with each other and don’t fly in the face of our government’s instructions. In my opinion, our government did a lot of precautionary measures to ebb that dangerous pandemic virus. Furthermore, if we stick to the instructions we will get rid of it and we will restore our normal life.
Is the world going to survive from Coronavirus (COVID-19)? All
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are wondering.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are optimistic others are pessimistic. The Syrian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
took all the precautionary measures to avoid the spread of this pandemic virus.
On the other hand
, we as Syrian citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow the instructions and cooperate with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Quarantine is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
The usual collocation for "steps" is "take". Did you mean "steps to take"?
steps to do
. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
closed everything except pharmacies, Hospitals, Bakeries, Banks, Groceries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food shops in order to avoid gathering of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
that, Infected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
increased.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they force everyone to stay home from 6: 00 pm to 6: 00 am.

Secondly
, they closed all kinds of borders (sea, land and air).
Of course
, they didn’t abandon Syrian citizens who were abroad and open the airport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to bring them back home. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
took them to isolated hotels for 14 Days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
or carried the virus.

Finally
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
stay home, cooperate with each other and don’t
fly
in the face of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
instructions. In my opinion, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
precautionary measures to ebb that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
pandemic virus.
Furthermore
, if we stick to the instructions we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
we will restore our normal life.
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IELTS essay Talk about your opinion about Coronavirus in Syria

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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