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Talk about the stress of teenage students and suggest measures

Talk about the stress of teenage students and suggest measures LbM8G
In modern life, the stress of teenagers is no longer strange to us. Because of the desire for their children to achieve good academic results, many parents have forced their children to study too much even after exhausting hours in class. Furthermore, in fact, middle school and high school students are often worried about the pressure of their grades. If they do not achieve the desired results, they will be severely scolded by their parents, annoyed by teachers and made friends not like to play with them. Furthermore, there are significant psycho-physiological changes during puberty, which is also the most common teen stress. To help children overcome stressful periods, parents need to try to calmly and patiently accompany their children in their growth journey, thereby encouraging them to study hard and move forward. If your child has to complete too much homework at once, you need to remember that, in all cases, your child's physical and mental health is still a top priority.
In modern life, the
stress
of
teenagers
is no longer strange to us.
Because
of the desire for their
children
to achieve
good
academic results,
many
parents have forced their
children
to study too much even after exhausting hours in
class
.
Furthermore
, in fact, middle school and high school students are
often
worried about the pressure of their grades. If they do not achieve the desired results, they will be
severely
scolded by their parents, annoyed by teachers and made friends not like to play with them.
Furthermore
, there are significant psycho-physiological
changes
during puberty, which is
also
the most common teen
stress
. To
help
children
overcome stressful periods, parents need to try to
calmly
and
patiently
accompany their
children
in their growth journey, thereby encouraging them to study
hard
and
move
forward. If your child
has to
complete too much homework at once, you need to remember that, in all cases, your child's physical and mental health is
still
a top priority.
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IELTS essay Talk about the stress of teenage students and suggest measures

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
163 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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