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t is generally acknowledged that families are now not as close as they used to be. What are the causes? What can be done to improve the situation?

t is generally acknowledged that families are now not as close as they used to be. What are the causes? What can be done to improve the situation? PWe3p
In comparison with the past, the family connection is increasingly impair. In this essay, reasons for this phenomenon will be analysed and relevant solutions will be provided as well. There are several reasons leading to the gradually distant family relationship. The primary reason is that society is becoming increasingly competitive. This status not only has forced adults to be dragged into a whirlpool of work in order to support their family financially but also make the study burden putting on children’s shoulders become heavier and heavier. As a result, family members have less time to take care of each other and become estranged from remaining members. Furthermore, the development of technology has also contributed to this trend. In modern days, almost everybody has personal electronic devices such as smartphones so they have a preference for spending their time scrolling through their feed or playing games rather than communicating to other members, which creates a distance between them. In comparison with the recent past when face-to-face communication was the most common form of interaction, people had better understanding of their families due to the unpopularity of personal electronic gadgets.
In comparison
with the past, the
family
connection is
increasingly
impair.

In this essay, reasons for this phenomenon will be
analysed
and relevant solutions will
be provided
as well
.

There are several reasons leading to the
gradually
distant
family
relationship. The primary reason is that society is becoming
increasingly
competitive. This status not
only
has forced adults to
be dragged
into a whirlpool of work in order to support their
family
financially
but
also
make
the study burden putting on children’s shoulders become heavier and heavier.
As a result
,
family
members have less time to take care of each other and become estranged from remaining members.
Furthermore
, the development of technology has
also
contributed to this trend. In modern days, almost everybody has personal electronic devices such as smartphones
so
they have a preference for spending their time scrolling through their feed or playing games
rather
than communicating to other members, which creates a distance between them.
In comparison
with the recent past when face-to-face communication was the most common form of interaction,
people
had better understanding of their
families
due to the unpopularity of personal electronic gadgets.
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IELTS essay t is generally acknowledged that families are now not as close as they used to be. What are the causes? What can be done to improve the situation?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
188 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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