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Benefits for individual teenagers and for the whole society

Benefits for individual teenagers and for the whole society 2l7DJ
In the age of Covid 19 pandemic, people are facing a lot of difficulties about health care, finance, food, etc. However, there are numerous teenagers coming to help other people. They are not care about the dangers and problems that they can deal with. They just give others a hand without expecting their response and gratitude. They are volunteers. I believe that volunteering is benificial not only for people being helped, but also for people provide help and for society. Firstly, I would mention in this essay the advantages of volunteering for individual teenagers. When participating in volunteering activities, they can learn about social skills and kindness as well as soft skills which are necessary for job applications later on. For instance, when they find the way to communicate with people who do not understand their language, they can study communication skill. Or when they discuss the solution of a difficult problem, they learn how to work in pairs. Morever, doing volunteer activities means that they need to go far from their family and learn how to do everything by themselves. That makes them become more confident and less selfish. Volunteering can also help teenagers raise awareness about the importance of sharing and helping other people. Going out, they will find that they are luckier than many people. Therefore, it is better to give disadvantaged people some helps. Furthermore, they can make themselves feel happy and have a meaningful life due to the fact that they help other people and contribute to society. Secondly, I would discuss the benefits of volunteering for the whole society. It builds a better sense of community. When people understand the value of sharing and helping, they will make their society become better. Also, they can create unity for people in a country. When people are not interested in money too much, they will consider everyone is the same and they can spend much time on other activities including helping another person. Besides that, volunteering can decrease crime rate among teenagers in society because they are busy with spending time doing voluntary work instead of playing and enjoying. The most important thing is that volunteering can help disadvantaged people to have a better life. For example, volunteers can help poor people and handicapped people have better place to live or better job to do. Not to mention, volunteers often go to the orphanages and nursing homes to take care of children and old people. They make them feel the care and love from society. In conclusion, both individual teenagers and social receive numerous benefits from volunteering. It is a meaningful and benevolent activity that people need to continue and promote.
In the age of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
pandemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difficulties about health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, finance, food, etc.
However
, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
and problems that they can deal with. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
give others a hand without expecting their response and gratitude.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and for society.

Firstly
, I would mention in this essay the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
for individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. When participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they can learn about social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and kindness
as well
as soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are necessary for job applications later on.
For instance
, when they find the way to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not understand their language, they can study communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. Or when they discuss the solution of a difficult problem, they learn how to work in pairs.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
means that they need to go far from their family and learn how to do everything by themselves. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them become more confident and less selfish.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Volunteering
can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
raise awareness about the importance of sharing and helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Going out, they will find that they are luckier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to give disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
.
Furthermore
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
themselves feel happy and have a meaningful life due to the fact that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and contribute to society.

Secondly
, I would discuss the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
for the whole society. It builds a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
sense of community. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the value of sharing and helping, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their society become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
Also
, they can create unity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a country. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not interested in money too much, they will consider everyone is the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
same and
they can spend much time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
including helping another person.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
can decrease crime rate among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are busy with spending time doing voluntary work
instead
of playing and enjoying. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and handicapped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job to do. Not to mention,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to the orphanages and nursing homes to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of children and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them feel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from society.

In conclusion
, both individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and social receive numerous benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
. It is a meaningful and benevolent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to continue and promote.
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IELTS essay Benefits for individual teenagers and for the whole society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
445 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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