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T.C Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion?

T. C Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? AjBJN
technology advancement has taken lifestyle to next level, in fact, computers nowadays play a major role in various industries. Whereas, others advocate that such development has a negative impact on human life. This essay will explain of boon and bane of using computers. First of all, computers can calculate so many equations within a fraction of a second as well as that it have facilitated learning and many people including children can benefit from it, it can especially be used for teaching purposes such as computer programing or the development of science and technology since they are very accurate, people can also occupy their free time by working and playing with computers. Secondly, many people such as companies would be able to store a large number of data in their computer which allows them to avoid lifting and carrying heavy paper documents. As a result, most industries are now so dependent on computers that any computer breakdown will result in operation failure. Nevertheless, computers have their disadvantages too, just like many other advances in technology, besides it can be very harmful and addictive, therefore children may spend hours playing video games for instance which can be very disastrous. Furthermore, the real computer controversy aroused when some people use their computers solely as a means of amusement, these people were capable of blackmailing, hacking, and stealing data from other computers. overall, I believe computers are essential in the current era since almost every industry depending on technology, therefore I believe computers can be used as a pastime but this application is only of secondary importance. Nowadays one of the biggest black markets in the world is the illegal wildlife trade. In 2015 police in Russian pulled over a hearse for speeding and made an unexpected discovery. 200. 000 dollars worth of contraband the trade was about neither weapons nor drugs it was about caviar 200. 000 dollars worth of illegal caviar. The story of wildlife trade could be about logging of exotic woods, endangered animal as a pet and all sorts of wild life harvested for traditional medicines and foods. Illegal wildlife trade is a broad term but it has a big business in black markets and since the money is earned for black marketers the wildlife trade is up there with the drug and weapons trades in a lot of ways, in fact, the wildlife trade. In fact profits like that have attracted the attention of drug cartels looking to diversify their business. In another world, illegal wildlife trade and the illegal drug trade are similar enough that they are starting to merge A good example of illegal trade is the beluga caviar since they produce more caviar than the rest of their own species and in the 1990s and 2000s almost a decayed beluga experience a 90 percent drop in population Overall: As human populations have grown, so has the demand for wildlife. People in many countries are accustomed to a lifestyle that fuels the demand for wildlife. People expect access to a variety of seafood, medical ingredients at the meantime poverty attracts people to see wildlife as valuable barter for trade. Nowadays, a fairly large number of people are obsessed with obesity which is a medical condition that increases your risk of other diseases, while it is logical that people diagnosed with an illness pay a large sum of money for treatment. Therefore I believe Prevention activity is better than research, remedy, and treatment. However, there is always a need for research and the invention of new methods. On the one hand, promoting health awareness will allow people to take precautions seriously. for example its is undeniable that doing a certain activity will aid the body to stay away from major health issues, in other words, activities such as exercise and meditation will strengthen the heart. As a result, activity helps to lower the risk of heart disease such as blood pressure. Furthermore, these activities will not only make the body maintain its health but also those people who are involved in an activity feel even more energetic. Alongside people government also would be able to encourage residents to add physical activity into their daily routine life. Therefore governments will be able to reduce the rate of illness and the risk of disease contamination. on the other hand, in the modern era, people waste the majority of their time on social media or would not be able to afford the time to get their hands on any healthy food, in other words, due to lack of time people prefer fast foods over healthy food, also it should mention that fast food products are way cheaper than a portion of healthy food. in conclusion: I totally agree with the statement and I believe prevention is better than cure, nevertheless, the government should always invest funds in research for the right moment
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
technology
advancement has taken lifestyle to
next
level, in fact, computers nowadays play a major role in various industries.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, others advocate that such development has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on human life. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
of boon and bane of using computers.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, computers can calculate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
equations within a fraction of a second
as well
as that it have facilitated learning and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including children can benefit from it, it can
especially
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for teaching purposes such as computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
programing
or the development of science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
since they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
accurate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
occupy their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by working and playing with computers.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to store
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
data in their computer which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to avoid lifting and carrying heavy paper documents.
As a result
, most industries are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
dependent on computers that any computer breakdown will result in operation failure.

Nevertheless
, computers have their disadvantages too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
advances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
besides
it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful and addictive,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
children may spend hours playing video games
for instance
which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disastrous.
Furthermore
, the real computer controversy aroused when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their computers
solely
as a means of amusement, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were capable of blackmailing, hacking, and stealing data from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
computers.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
computers are essential in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era since almost every industry depending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
computers can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a pastime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this application is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of secondary importance. Nowadays one of the biggest black markets in the world is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
. In 2015 police in Russian pulled over a hearse for speeding and made an unexpected discovery. 200. 000 dollars worth of contraband the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
was about neither weapons nor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
it was about caviar 200. 000 dollars worth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
caviar.

The story of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
could be about logging of exotic woods, endangered animal as a pet and all sorts of wild life harvested for traditional medicines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
is a broad term
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
business in black markets and since the money
is earned
for black marketers the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
is up there with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
and weapons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trades
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ways, in fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
. In fact profits like that have attracted the attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
cartels looking to diversify their business. In another world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
are similar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
that they are starting to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
merge


A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
is the beluga caviar since they produce more caviar than the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
species and in the 1990s and 2000s almost a decayed beluga experience a 90 percent drop in population

Overall
: As human populations have grown,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
has the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
are accustomed
to a lifestyle that fuels the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
access to a variety of seafood, medical ingredients at the meantime poverty attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
as valuable barter for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
. Nowadays, a
fairly
large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are obsessed
with obesity which is a medical condition that increases your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
diseases, while it is logical that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
diagnosed with an illness pay a large sum of money for treatment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
Prevention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is better than research, remedy, and treatment.
However
, there is always a need for research and the invention of new methods.

On the one hand, promoting health awareness will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take precautions
seriously
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example its is undeniable that doing a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
will aid the body to stay away from major health issues, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as exercise and meditation will strengthen the heart.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to lower the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of heart disease such as blood pressure.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the body maintain its health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are involved
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
feel even more energetic. Alongside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to encourage residents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
into their daily routine life.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of illness and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of disease contamination.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste the majority of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on social media or would not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their hands on any healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
over healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
also
it should mention that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products are way cheaper than a portion of healthy food.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion: I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
prevention is better than cure,
nevertheless
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should always invest funds in research for the right moment
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IELTS essay T. C Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
811 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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