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SURVEY OF PEOPLE VISITING TOURIST ATTRACTION IN BRITAIN

In the following report we will review the information of a survey made to people who visited tourist attractions in Britain in 1999. The main attraction visited during this year was the Theme Parks, which 38% of the people told us that they went to this place, the favorite and most visited theme park was Blackpool Pleasure Beach, with almost half of the percentage visiting the place and the other half is divided in 4 different theme parks: Alton towers, Pleasureland, Chessington and Legoland. The second attraction that got more visitors was Museums and Galleries, the attendance was quite close to the theme park with 37%. There were also visitors for the Historic houses and monuments with a 16% of attendance, leaving in the last place the visitors of wildlife parks and zoos just with 9% of people going there. We can conclude that people is more interested to go and amuse themselves in theme parks with mechanical attractions than going to visit places with wild animals
In the following report we will review the information of a survey made to
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people
who visited tourist
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attractions
in Britain in 1999.

The main
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attraction
visited during this year was the
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Theme
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Parks
, which 38% of the
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us that they went to this
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place
, the favorite and most visited
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theme
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park
was Blackpool Pleasure Beach, with almost half of the percentage visiting the
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place
and the other half
is divided
in 4
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different
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theme
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parks
: Alton towers,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pleasureland
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chessington
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Legoland
.

The second
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attraction
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more visitors was Museums and Galleries, the attendance was quite close to the
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theme
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park
with 37%.

There were
also
visitors for the Historic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and monuments with a 16% of attendance, leaving in the last
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place
the visitors of wildlife
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parks
and zoos
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with 9% of
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people
going there.

We can conclude that
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more interested to go and amuse themselves in
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theme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
with mechanical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
than going to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with wild animals
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IELTS essay SURVEY OF PEOPLE VISITING TOURIST ATTRACTION IN BRITAIN

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
166 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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