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health and physical fitness are the most impacted among the teenagers as it is deteriorating at an alarming rate. Therefore, it is suggested that subjects like physical education and sports activities

health and physical fitness are the most impacted among the teenagers as it is deteriorating at an alarming rate. Therefore, it is suggested that subjects like physical education and sports activities 53KJD
Essay In this contemporary era, due to change in lifestyle and eating habits of society various developmental changes have occurred in past few years. However, health and physical fitness are the most impacted among the teenagers as it is deteriorating at an alarming rate. Therefore, it is suggested that subjects like physical education and sports activities must be compulsory for all students in all school. This essay will explicitly discuss the underlying reasons for this preference and elaborate on why it is beneficial development. To commence with, first and foremost, as the saying goes good ideas came into healthy mind, hence, for innovative thinking and excellence it is mandatory for students to perform certain fitness routines so that they can achieve well in academics as well. For instance, in many schools the introduction of zero period is just for the sake of physical exercises or sports which helps students to rejuvenate their energies. Furthermore, this method not only make the student fit but also energetic for other periods as well. To illustrate, subjects like science math’s which need a lot of concentration and proper attention of students are put in first half when the students are quite energetic and involve more in classroom. Moreover, according to a survey, due to change in sleeping habits learners nowadays sleep less than the average sleep as a result it leads to less attentiveness in classes. Hence, the learning of physical education is mandatory so that students get aware of basic healthy routine of daily life. Besides, this it also gives information regarding healthy diet. To conclude from aforementioned statement I would infer that although many pupil don’t want to study this as it is a part of alimentary education but it is a positive development as it enhances the perceiving capabilities and mental health of children.
Essay

In this contemporary era, due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in lifestyle and eating habits of society various developmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have occurred in past few years.
However
, health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness are the most impacted among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
as it is deteriorating at an alarming rate.
Therefore
, it
is suggested
that subjects like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education and sports activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be compulsory for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in all school. This essay will
explicitly
discuss the underlying reasons for this preference and elaborate on why it is beneficial development.

To commence with,
first
and foremost, as the saying goes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
came into healthy mind,
hence
, for innovative thinking and excellence it is mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to perform certain fitness routines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can achieve well in academics
as well
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools the introduction of zero period is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercises or sports which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to rejuvenate their energies.
Furthermore
, this method not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
energetic for other periods
as well
. To illustrate, subjects like science math’s which need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
concentration and proper attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are put
in
first
half when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are quite energetic and involve more in classroom.

Moreover
, according to a survey, due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in sleeping habits learners nowadays sleep less than the average sleep
as a result
it leads to less attentiveness in classes.
Hence
, the learning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education is mandatory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aware of basic healthy routine of daily life.
Besides
, this it
also
gives information regarding healthy diet.

To conclude
from aforementioned statement I would infer that although
Possible agreement error. The noun pupil seems to be countable; consider using: "many pupils".
many pupil
don’t want to study this as it is a part of alimentary education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development as it enhances the perceiving capabilities and mental health of children.
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IELTS essay health and physical fitness are the most impacted among the teenagers as it is deteriorating at an alarming rate. Therefore, it is suggested that subjects like physical education and sports activities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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