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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while other think it is unfair

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while other think it is unfair wWQm
In this era of science and technology, people are willing to engage in a job, and have quality of life. In order to achieve their life goal they tend to engage on profession jobs. There are considerable debate on the income of successful professionals and people involving in other significant jobs. So, is this unfair or fully justified? Let’s have a brief discussion on this matter. Sports is not a piece of cake. Although in our country sports are not getting much priority but recently, however, the attitude towards sports have been changed dramatically. People engaging in sports do hard work like other people working on important professions. It is believed that the successful sports professionals do earn enormous amount of money, my range of opinion towards the enormous amount of money is the successful sportsman are extremely popular, world wide, and they are well known. I can give eye catching example of Ronaldo, who is recognized as the most popular, and billionaire successful football player. Well, most of the youth have interest on sports but merely few people get their goal, so it is also tough profession. Talking about other professions like business, medical and other occupation. They are the well paid occasion, but depends upon their working abilities. At a point it is quite unfair that sports are well paid than other occupation. Ever the people on other occupation gets higher salary than sports professions. Do ever this scheme be implemented? Generally speaking, everything has its one importance. So, I don’t think it will be change. To recapitulate, successful sports professionals are well paid but other are also getting salary. So, the unfair situation is not allocated.
In this era of science and technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to engage in a job, and have quality of life. In order to achieve their life goal they tend to engage on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
jobs. There are considerable debate on the income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
professionals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
involving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
significant jobs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, is this unfair or
fully
justified?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s have a brief discussion on this matter.

Sports is not a piece of cake. Although in our country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not getting much priority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
recently,
however
, the attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
. It
is believed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionals do earn enormous amount of money, my range of opinion towards the enormous amount of money is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
sportsman are
extremely
popular,
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
, and they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
known. I can give
'eye catching' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "eye-catching".
eye catching
example of Ronaldo, who
is recognized
as the most popular, and billionaire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
football player.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Well
, most of the youth have interest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
merely
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their goal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
also
tough profession.

Talking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
like business, medical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
occupation. They are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
paid occasion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
depends upon their working abilities. At a point it is quite unfair that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
Use "payer" to make a comparison with this adjective.
paid
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
occupation.
The adverb 'Ever' is usually not used at the beginning of a sentence.
Ever
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
occupation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
higher salary than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
. Do ever this scheme
be implemented
?
Generally
speaking, everything has its one importance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionals are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
are
also
getting salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the unfair situation is not allocated.
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IELTS essay Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while other think it is unfair

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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