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Successful sports athletes can get far more money than people in other important jobs. Some persons believe this is completely justified while other believe it is unfair. In this essay, I will discuss about athletes earnings and what they receive is justified or unfair.

Successful sports athletes can get far more money than people in other important jobs. Some persons believe this is completely justified while other believe it is unfair. In this essay, I will discuss about athletes earnings and what they receive is justified or unfair. WnWkk
Successful sports athletes can get far more money than people in other important jobs. Some persons believe this is completely justified while other believe it is unfair. In this essay, I will discuss about athletes earnings and what they receive is justified or unfair. On the one hand, those who believe that famous athletes deserve huge rate of money because a lot of athletes prepare to be a professional from childhood and it is huge work. They spend a lot of time by practicing and keep diet. In my opinion, athletes earn justified, they have been working many years to reach heights in their direction and to become a sports star. A lot of athletes go through strong pressure on their way and it takes a lot of practice, skill and effort to become a good athlete. Again a lot of well-known sports personalities inspires new generation to be attracted to the games they play. Furthermore, they represent the country of all over the world and protect honor of own country in sport events. In conclusion, I think these sportspeople work harder and face more pressure and therefore their high earnings are justified. On the other hand, some persons believe that it is fully unfair. Similarly surgeons, military, police officer, firefighters etc, works hard and risk their lives to save other lives. It takes a lot of hard work and training to become a military, police and firefighter etc, also need to study for many years to become a doctor, it is also hard work. For instance, the scientist can be innovated formulas medicine, new technology and so on. For all of this, they could be spending more time in their life. Secondly, sometimes military employees lost their lives for the country and for nations people, but the end of they could not famous and not gain a high salary. In conclusion, I think that other important professions should also be treated with respect In conclusion, all professions are difficult and in order to achieve success in one area you need to work tough and their earnings are deserved.
Successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
far more money than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
jobs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
this is completely justified while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it is unfair. In this essay, I will discuss about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
earnings and what they receive
is justified
or unfair.

On the one hand, those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
deserve huge rate of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
prepare to be a professional from childhood and it is huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. They spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time by practicing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
diet. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
earn justified, they have been working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to reach heights in their direction and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
star. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
go through strong pressure on their way and it takes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of practice,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and effort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
. Again a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
personalities inspires new generation to
be attracted
to the games they play.
Furthermore
, they represent the country of all over the world and protect honor of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these sportspeople
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder and face more pressure and
therefore
their high earnings
are justified
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is
fully
unfair.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
surgeons, military, police officer, firefighters etc, works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It takes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and training to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a military, police and firefighter etc,
also
need to study for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a doctor, it is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
, the scientist can
be innovated
formulas medicine, new technology and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. For all of this, they could be spending more time in their life.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
military employees lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for the country and for nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of they could not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and not gain a high salary.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
professions should
also
be treated
with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
respect


In conclusion
, all professions are difficult and in order to achieve success in one area you need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
tough and their earnings
are deserved
.
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IELTS essay Successful sports athletes can get far more money than people in other important jobs. Some persons believe this is completely justified while other believe it is unfair. In this essay, I will discuss about athletes earnings and what they receive is justified or unfair.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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