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successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. discuss both view and give your own opinion

sport players could be reap high stipend rather than profession people, many people see that is justifiably while other do not. The salaries of sport players is much more higher than those people in other professions. This essay will urge the both sides of this argument. Those who support high earnings of sport stars claim that sport players should earn high salaries because they are under constant pressure to perform, moreover, sport starts are required to preserve their physical state which is demand long hours of practicing to maintain of their required level, as well as, most of people thought that sport stars deserve a high salaries due to fact they bring fame and enhanced the reputation to their country and that is fully justified. On the other hand, there are other professions such as teaching and doctors, which are more important than sport players, furthermore they contribute to their countries by present a valuable services, for instance teacher play an important role in imparting knowledge and shaping characters of their students, similarly to the doctor work hard without rest to save precious lives. Generally other professions could be more valuable because they will raise the number educated individuals and expand their society. In conclusion, this essay argued that sports starts gain high salaries as compared to other important professions, In my opinion, there should not be significant difference between sport players and other professions because they are provide a valuable service and enhance our lives, whereas sport starts do not improve their fellow people lives.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
could be
Consider using the past participle "reaped"?
reap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
stipend
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that is
justifiably
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
do not. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
is much
Use only "higher" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more higher
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
. This essay will urge the both sides of this argument.

Those who support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
earnings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
stars claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
should earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are under constant pressure to perform,
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
are required
to preserve their physical state which is demand long hours of practicing to maintain of their required level,
as well
as, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
stars deserve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
due to fact they bring fame and enhanced the reputation to their country and
that is
fully
justified.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
such as teaching and doctors, which are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
,
furthermore
they contribute to their countries by present a valuable services,
for instance
teacher play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in imparting knowledge and shaping characters of their students,
similarly
to the doctor work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
without rest to save precious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Generally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
could be more valuable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will raise the number educated individuals and expand their society.

In conclusion
, this essay argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
, In my opinion, there should not be significant difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
a valuable service and enhance our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their fellow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
.
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IELTS essay successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. discuss both view and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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