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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

As we all know now a days, the influence of advertisement is enormous. Especially in the day to day life we are seeing a lot of advertisements. In my point of view it made a bad impact in our lifestyle. Majority of the advertisings are making us buy the products that aren't useful to us. In the market there are wide variety of same existing products. And most of them aren't even worth buying. People still keep buying it because of the attracting marketing strategies of the particular barnds. We can take an example of a pen. What's the basic use of it? We use it to write. But still in the market there is a wide variety of pens in different brands. Why people are keep purchasing it? Did anyone thinked about it? It is nothing but the attractions that it made using the advertisments. The basic purpose is same but when it shows in different colours, models, brands we are tend to purchase it. That's definitely an impact made by the advertisings. This is just an example for a pen. Think more about such other different products. Also there is some advertisements which brings new genuine innovations. I really can understand that. But the majority is worthless. In my opinion, by stopping such kind of marketing can even make more changes in the environment as well. It will reduce the wastage of products, decrease the use of plastics, also some products contains plants and animal consumption. So buy limiting it can also save the plants and animals as well. Overall in the present world advertising is considered to be the most impacted thing which encourages lots and lots of people to purchase unwanted things. Majority even don't know they really wanted the product or not. It is made in such a way that without even thinking for a second time everyone want to purchase it even though the cost is too much. Hoping to see a furture world were this will be eradicated.
As we all know
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
, the influence of advertisement is enormous.
Especially
in the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life we are seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advertisements. In my point of view it made a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact in our lifestyle. Majority of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
are making us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that aren't useful to us.

In the market there are wide variety of same existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. And most of them aren't even worth buying.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
buying it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the attracting marketing strategies of the particular
Possible spelling mistake found.
barnds
. We can take an example of a pen. What's the basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it? We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to write.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
still
in the market there is a wide variety of pens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands. Why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
purchasing it? Did anyone
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "thought", the past tense form of the verb 'think'?
thinked
about it? It is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the attractions that it made using the
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisments
. The basic purpose is same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
, models, brands we are
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it. That's definitely an impact made by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an example for a pen.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Think
more about such other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertisements which brings new genuine innovations. I
really
can understand that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the majority is worthless. In my opinion, by stopping such kind of marketing can even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the environment
as well
. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, decrease the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of plastics,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
contains plants and animal consumption.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Did you mean "by"?
buy
limiting it can
also
save the plants and animals
as well
.

Overall
in the present world advertising
is considered
to be the most impacted thing which encourages lots and lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unwanted things. Majority even don't know they
really
wanted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or not. It
is made
in such a way that without even thinking for a second time everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it
even though
the cost is too much. Hoping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
furture
world were this will
be eradicated
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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