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Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions.

Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions. VP5Gw
Financial prosperity and material assets have always been considered as crucial measures of success. In my opinion, wealth per se may not bring lasting happiness or true success, but lack thereof can definitely be a hindrance to welfare and prosperity. Successful people, I believe, look at wealth as a means–not an end–to improve their overall wellbeing, be it mental, physical, or emotional. Some people assert that wealth cannot bring success, which I disagree with as it stands. Wealthy people can afford just about anything for themselves and their families and enjoy their lives to the fullest. By contrast, poor people have to struggle to fulfill even their basic needs. Wealthy people would usually enjoy life in a way that poor people could only have in their dreams. Some poor people even succumb to death due to illnesses that could otherwise be treated if they had the financial means. For example, in the current health crisis, research shows that in some developing nations the majority of people who died of Covid-19 come from impoverished families, who could not afford to get proper medicine, safe and effective vaccines, or did not have the luxury to just stay at home and depend on their huge savings. Many other young people cannot just go to university because they do not have a wealthy family to back them up. Success can be defined from different perspectives by different individuals. For instance, one may wish to become a successful athlete or a football player. For another, success may be synonymous with having a charitable organization. Another may take a thrill in becoming an actor rising to stardom. What is obvious, all other things being equal, wealth can always pave the way for all individuals to fulfill their ambitions in life. Nonetheless, to be truly successful, in addition to building wealth, one definitely needs to have the right mindset and use it in a wise way. To put it into perspective, some people win the jackpot on the lottery, but their life situation does not improve in actuality. They indulge in drugs and alcohol and may suffer bouts of depression ending in committing suicide. For such people, wealth is not going to guarantee success and may even be counter-productive, as they do not have the right attitude to life in the first place. To conclude, wealth can be the most important means to achieve success. Without it, the road to accomplishment gets longer and thornier. However, wealth cannot be deemed as an end, and, instead, can best be exploited when accompanied by a healthy attitude and responsible mindset.
Financial prosperity and material assets have always
been considered
as crucial measures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
per se may not bring lasting happiness or true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lack thereof can definitely be a hindrance to welfare and prosperity. Successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I believe, look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
as a means–not an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
–to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
overall
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
, be it mental, physical, or emotional.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
cannot bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, which I disagree with as it stands. Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about anything for themselves and their families and enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to the fullest. By contrast, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle to fulfill even their basic needs. Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
usually
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a way that poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have in their dreams.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even succumb to death due to illnesses that could
otherwise
be treated
if they had the financial means.
For example
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
health crisis, research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developing nations the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
of Covid-19
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from impoverished families, who could not afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper medicine, safe and effective vaccines, or did not have the luxury to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay at home and depend on their huge savings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
other young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
go to university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have a wealthy family to back them up.

Success can
be defined
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
individuals.
For instance
, one may wish to become a successful athlete or a football player. For another,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
may be synonymous with having a charitable organization. Another may take a thrill in becoming an actor rising to stardom. What is obvious, all other things being equal,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
can always pave the way for all individuals to fulfill their ambitions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Nonetheless, to be
truly
successful,
in addition
to building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
, one definitely needs to have the right mindset and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
Consider replacing "in a wise way" with the adverb for "wise"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a wise way
. To put it into perspective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
win the jackpot on the lottery,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
situation does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in actuality. They indulge in drugs and alcohol and may suffer bouts of depression ending in committing suicide. For such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is not going to guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and may even be counter-productive, as they do not have the right attitude to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
first
place.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
can be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
means to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Without it, the road to accomplishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
longer and thornier.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
cannot
be deemed
as an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, and,
instead
, can best
be exploited
when accompanied by a healthy attitude and responsible mindset.
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IELTS essay Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
431 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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