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success is always measured by wealth and materials belongings . do you think wealth is best measured of source.what makes a successful person

success is always measured by wealth and materials belongings. do you think wealth is best measured of source. what makes a successful person GWBex
This is often thought by some people that wealth and belonging material are the measurement criteria of success. But my opinion success is not measured by wealth. it can be measured by other factor like family relation, dream, career and health and make a person successful. it is undeniable that every one in this world srive for happiness and hense it should be the best way of success. Although many people in the world have wealth which is enough to purchase the required belonging things but inspite of this they are not feel happy because of their bussiness and stessfull life. therefore wealth is not measured by crieteria of success. There are many factors that makes life successsful. Firstly, we talk about family relationship. If irrefutable that family that family support is parramount importance throughout the journey of life. secondly getting a dream career is according to person is ambitious is a great sourse of happy and successful life. if a person gets suitable job things increases his self esteem. it helps career progression. Finaly health is an ovious factor of happy and asuccessful lifebecause a healthy person can do every thing in life. to conclude money is not a basic of successful life. Aperson success only if he gets good family relation and contended, satisfied carrer ad good health condition.
This is
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often
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thought
by
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some
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people
that
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wealth
and belonging material are the measurement criteria of
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success
.
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But
my opinion
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success
is not measured by
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wealth
.
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it
can
be measured
by other factor like
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family
relation, dream, career and health and
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make
a
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person
successful.
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it
is undeniable that every one in this world
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srive
for happiness and
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hense
it should be the best way of
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success
. Although
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world have
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wealth
which is
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enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the required belonging things
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but
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inspite
of this they are not feel happy
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because
of their
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bussiness
and
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stessfull
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life
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
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wealth
is not measured by
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crieteria
of
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success
. There are
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many
factors that
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makes
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life
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successsful
.
Firstly
, we talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
irrefutable that
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family
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
support is
Possible spelling mistake found.
parramount
importance throughout the journey of
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life
.
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secondly
getting a dream career is according to
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person
is ambitious is a great
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sourse
of happy and successful
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life
.
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if
a
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person
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gets
suitable job things increases his
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
.
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it
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helps
career progression.
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Finaly
health is an
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ovious
factor of happy and
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asuccessful
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lifebecause
a healthy
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person
can do every thing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude money is not a basic of successful
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life
.
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Aperson
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success
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only
if he
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gets
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good
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family
relation and contended, satisfied
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrer
ad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health condition.
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IELTS essay success is always measured by wealth and materials belongings. do you think wealth is best measured of source. what makes a successful person

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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