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Some people believe that mobile phone are very important to human life now. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that mobile phone are very important to human life now. V0oOw
People have been arguing about whether or not mobile phones very are important to human life now. In my viewpoint, having a mobile phone is necessary for people. Firstly, the mobile phone helps people keep in touch with their relationships, and sometimes it helps humans escape danger. For example, when they live far from their home they can feel homeless, mobile phone as a key for them give them a chance to connect with your family. The other sample is humans who can be attacked by some bad person for their purpose. When humans have a mobile phone it will be easier to solve this serious problem by calling someones. The mobile phone does not only help people connect with each other but it also assists them to save more time. For instance, instead of spending hours looking for some information about something in the book, people can access the internet and search for it. Or When they are too busy and they can not go shopping to purchase goods, They can open some interesting apps on mobile phones to buy online. Besides, the mobile phone is one of the best tools for humans relax. The example is after a long time of hard-working, they use their phone to watch funny videos on Youtube or movies on Netflix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have been arguing about
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. In my viewpoint, having a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their relationships, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
escape
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
For example
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far from their home they can feel homeless, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
as a key for them give them a chance to connect with your family. The other sample is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
who can
be attacked
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
person for their purpose.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
it will be easier to solve this serious problem by calling someones. The mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connect with each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
assists them to save more time.
For instance
,
instead
of spending hours looking for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about something in the book,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access the internet and search for it. Or When they are too
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
busy and
they can not go shopping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, They can open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interesting apps on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
online.
Besides
, the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is one of the best tools for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
relax. The example is after a long time of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
videos on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
or movies on
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Netflix

IELTS essay Some people believe that mobile phone are very important to human life now.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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