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Success in business can be assured if you have great marketing and promotion. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Success in business can be assured if you have great marketing and promotion. q2AD
Fabulous commercialization and enhancement did you have can assure the victory of business. As a result, there are many companies have extent budget for increase their attractiveness in market and it is proven by numerous advertisements are around us. I do not believe the good strategy in marketing and promotion can guarantee your success in business. First of all, the great business is about money that you can earn in a period. In my opinion, the earnings come with high number of sales and many people buy your product or use your services. In contrast, if you do not have customer or the sold amount of your product is less, the sustainability of your business can be questionable. For instance, there were many companies have a victory in the past due to their product had nice sales, but right now their company only name causes they did not improve the new method of sales to maintaining their customer and new comer came with new method to approached their customer. However, these days, the fact is there are many companies improve their strategy and spend more money in sales to get new customer to buy their products. On the other hand, some people argue the crucial things in business is marketing strategy. It causes your product has tremendous market attractiveness in public and people familiar with your product. But, if your product only being familiar in the people ear, it can not guarantee the sustainability of your business than people buy your product and you get real income so your business can operate. In conclusion, despite many people do not full-agree with me because there are many factors to ensure the successful of business. I still believe business can not only the prediction and hope but it needs reality. The reality of business victory come with your product is bought by people.
Fabulous commercialization and enhancement did you have can assure the victory of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
As a result
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have extent budget for increase their attractiveness in market and it
is proven
by numerous advertisements are around us. I do not believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
strategy in marketing and promotion can guarantee your success in business.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is about money that you can earn in a period. In my opinion, the earnings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with high number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
your services.
In contrast
, if you do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
or the sold amount of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is less, the sustainability of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can be questionable.
For instance
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have a victory in the past due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
had nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
name causes they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
to maintaining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
and
Did you mean "newcomer"?
new comer
came with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
method to approached their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
.
However
, these days, the fact is there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their strategy and spend more money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their products.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue the crucial things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is marketing strategy. It causes your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
has tremendous market attractiveness in public and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
familiar with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
being familiar in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ear, it can not guarantee the sustainability of your
Use "(business)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
business
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
real income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can operate.

In conclusion
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not full-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors to ensure
The phrase 'the successful of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the successful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. I
still
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the prediction and hope
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it needs reality. The reality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
victory
Did you mean "comes"?
come
with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Success in business can be assured if you have great marketing and promotion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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