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Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?

Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it? LrBk6
Television is mode of entertainment for each and every generation. Research suggests that in previous time children spend less hours on watching TV but nowadays it is rapidly increasing. Children also doing less creative and art work. In this essay i will discuss major causes of this phenomenon and also some appealing approaches to solve this problem. Children are spending more time on watching television because there are plethora of channels are available which attract them. There are various TV programs which are telecast with new technology animations which fetch children`s attention towards them. In addition to that, parents are too bust in their work as a result children get addicted to the TV. For instance, parents are busy in their office work that time and children is alone at home so child get exposure to the television. Consequently, children are watching TV more than past. There are some compelling ways which helps to solve the former issue and one of them is parents. Parents should moniter their children`s TV watching habits. For example, parents should keep an eye on their children as well as they should reduce their TV watching hours. Furthermore, parents should encourage their children to take participate in various creative workshops. They should also motivate them to do outdoor activities. This are the methods which is beneficial for keep children away from the television. To conclude, children are spend more time on watching TV because of plenitude shows and lack of parent`s observation. Parents should keep an eye on children`s television hours as well as motivate them to take participate in extra criculam.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is mode of entertainment for each and every generation. Research suggests that in previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
Did you mean "fewer hours"?
less hours
on watching TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays it is
rapidly
increasing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
also
doing less creative and art work. In this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss major causes of this phenomenon and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
appealing approaches to solve this problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are plethora of channels are available which attract them. There are various TV programs which are telecast with new technology animations which fetch
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
attention towards them.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are too bust in their work
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to the TV.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy in their office work that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is alone at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposure to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are watching TV more than past. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compelling ways which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to solve the former issue and one of them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
moniter
their
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
TV watching habits.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
as they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their TV watching hours.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take participate in various creative workshops. They should
also
motivate them to do outdoor activities.
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean "these are", "This is" or "This was"?
This are
the methods which is beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of plenitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and lack of
The character between 'parent' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "parent’s" (curly apostrophe) or "parent's" (straight apostrophe).
parent`s
observation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
hours
as well
as motivate them to take participate in extra
Possible spelling mistake found.
criculam
.
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IELTS essay Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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