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Students used to study in their own country in the past.Nowadays they have a lot of opportunity to study abroad. Do the advantages of this development outweight disadvantage

Students used to study in their own country in the past. Nowadays they have a lot of opportunity to study abroad. Do the advantages of this development outweight disadvantage m5ygA
It is true that at present students find more opportunity to do a university degree in foreign countries than students did in the past. Although it has got a positive effect on broaden your outlook and enhancing language skill it might have severaldisadvantages such as facing health problems or high cost of livinv and education. Studying abroad can be beneficial to student in different ways. Firstly studying abroad can help people to broaden their outlook. By studying overseas, students could have many chance to interact with many people from different places and culture. In addition studying abroad provides enhancing language skills. When people study abroad they have to speak foreign language so they will quickly master the foreign language. On the other hand, some believe that the choice of studying abroad have some disadvantages. Firstly, studying abroad will cost more than studying in home land. It is necessary for parents to spend more money to living foreign country and educating there. Furtheremore when people study abroad they will face health problems. Foreign countries environment may have influence bad effect to students. For instance I met some students go back home country. In conclusion, all around the world, students tend to study abroad for their career. Studying abroad has vital advantage and disadvantage, I think studying abroad more beneficial for students. Because studying abroad provides learn foreign culture and languages.
It is true that at present
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students
find more opportunity to do a university degree in
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foreign
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countries
than
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students
did in the past. Although it has
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got
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on broaden your outlook and enhancing
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language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
it might have
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severaldisadvantages
such as facing health problems or high cost of
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livinv
and education.

Studying
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abroad
can be beneficial to
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student
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
Firstly
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studying
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abroad
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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people
to broaden their outlook. By
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studying
overseas,
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students
could have
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many chance
to interact with
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many
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people
from
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different
places and culture. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
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studying
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abroad
provides enhancing
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language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. When
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people
study
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abroad
they
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have to
speak
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foreign
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language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
quickly
master the
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foreign
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language
.
On the other hand
,
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some
believe that the choice of
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studying
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abroad
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
Firstly
,
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studying
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abroad
will cost more than
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studying
in home land. It is necessary for parents to spend more money to living
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foreign
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country
and educating there.
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Furtheremore
when
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people
study
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abroad
they will face health problems.
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Foreign
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
environment may have influence
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bad
effect to
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students
. For
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instance I
met
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some
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students
go back home
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country
.
In conclusion
, all around the world,
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students
tend to study
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abroad
for their career.
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Studying
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abroad
has vital advantage and disadvantage, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
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studying
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abroad
more beneficial for
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students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
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studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
provides learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.

IELTS essay Students used to study in their own country in the past. Nowadays they have a lot of opportunity to study abroad. Do the advantages of this development outweight disadvantage

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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