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Students should be learnt acedmic subjects in school not cooking dressmaking and woodwork. Do you agree or disagree with the statement

Students should be learnt acedmic subjects in school not cooking dressmaking and woodwork. 1a1JL
disagree with given statement, which says that domestic sciences such as cooking, dressmaking and woodworking should not be included in the school curricula. There are countless advantages of having craft education classes in school, which I shall discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. First, craft education helps mould and ward children's as strategic and logical thinkers. It can only be gained free practical application of doing something, building something and creating somethings. It cannot be learnt from memorizing facts from a book and regurgitation them in the exam. Secondly, Craft education improve the intelligence level of students. They use different methods that helps to devolvement of the brain so, students do better in other subject also. It also teaches pupil to focus on study. Another very good advantage of craft education is that it takes always gender stereotypes. Both boys and girls learn how to cook and see you in schools then they are seen equal important skills and not just for one gender or the other. Father more, through craft education students can learn maths through real life application they would need a lot of maths when they are measuring, designing and planning their projects in wood work they learn how to measure length and breadth of project that make them intelligent in maths and junior also easily handle the long calculations. Finally, it makes the children independent while learning practical skills they cook their own food by themselves without anyone help, for instance the college students live far from house and during living in hostel they cannot face difficulty. To conclusion, cooking, woodwork and dressmaking, which are important in Delhi life so these skills are
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
disagree
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement, which says that domestic sciences such as cooking, dressmaking and woodworking should not
be included
in the school curricula. There are countless advantages of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
classes in school, which I shall discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
and ward children's as strategic and logical thinkers. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be gained
free practical application of doing something, building something and creating somethings. It cannot be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from memorizing facts from a book and regurgitation them in the exam.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the intelligence level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
devolvement
of the brain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do better in other subject
also
. It
also
teaches pupil to focus on study. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is that it takes always gender stereotypes. Both boys and girls learn how to cook and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you in schools then they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
equal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for one gender or the other. Father more, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
through real life application they would need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
when they are measuring, designing and planning their projects in wood work they learn how to measure length and breadth of project that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them intelligent in
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and junior
also
easily
handle the long calculations.
Finally
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the children independent while learning practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they cook their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food by themselves without anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "helps", "helped".
help
,
for instance
the college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and during living in hostel they cannot face difficulty. To conclusion, cooking, woodwork and dressmaking, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in Delhi life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are
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IELTS essay Students should be learnt acedmic subjects in school not cooking dressmaking and woodwork.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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