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Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue?

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue? 8qLk
There is a common problem among high school graduates these days where students are leaving school without any knowledge or skill in personal money management. This essay will outline a number of reasons for this trend and a number of possible solutions to help tackle the issue. Firstly, one of the main causes of this problem is that the majority of high school students live with their parents and are completely financially dependent upon them. Most students do not need to work to earn money while at high school, as their parents pay for all their needs, and therefore do not gain any understanding about the realities of earning and saving money. Usually, the only money that students receive is from their parents and this is typically in the form of pocket-money, which is given with the intent of it being spent. Therefore, young people only really learn how to spend money, and not how to earn, save or manage it wisely. However, there are a number of viable solutions to help students deal with this problem. Firstly, basic money management skills could be included as a compulsory subject for students in their high school years, which would help equip them with the knowledge and skills to manage their own personal finances when they leave school, move out of home and enter employment. The second possible step that could be taken to help curb this problem is through education at home. Parents need to take responsibility to make sure that their children are adequately educated in such matters to ensure their children maintain a successful and independent financial situation after graduating and leaving home. In conclusion, although money management is a problem for a lot of school leavers, there are a number of viable solutions to counteract this problem.
There is a common
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problem
among
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high
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school
graduates these
It is better to use 'days' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "days when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
days where
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students
are leaving
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school
without any knowledge or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in personal
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money
management. This essay will outline a
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number
of reasons for this trend and a
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number
of possible solutions to
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help
tackle the issue.

Firstly
, one of the main causes of this
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problem
is that the majority of
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high
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school
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and are completely
financially
dependent upon them. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not need to work to earn
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money
while at
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
pay for all their needs, and
therefore
do not gain any understanding about the realities of earning and saving
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money
.
Usually
, the
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only
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money
that
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students
receive is from their
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parents
and this is
typically
in the form of pocket-money, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
with the intent of it
being spent
.
Therefore
, young
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
really
learn how to spend
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money
, and not how to earn, save or manage it
wisely
.

However
, there are a
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number
of viable solutions to
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help
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students
deal with this
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problem
.
Firstly
, basic
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money
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
could
be included
as a compulsory subject for
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students
in their
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high
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school
years, which would
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help
equip them with the knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal finances when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
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school
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of home and enter employment. The second possible step that could
be taken
to
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help
curb this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is through education at home.
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Parents
need to take responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their children are
adequately
educated in such matters to ensure their children maintain a successful and independent financial situation after graduating and leaving home.

In conclusion
, although
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money
management is a
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problem
for
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a lot of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
, there are a
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number
of viable solutions to counteract this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
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IELTS essay Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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