Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. with this opinion? a3JY
A health system, also sometimes referred to as healthcare system, is the organization of people, institutions, and resources that deliver health care services to meet the health needs of target populations. The fundamental purpose of health care is to enhance quality of life by improving health. Several countries have different way of providing healthcare to their citizens. In UAE, it is mandatory that employers provide health insurance to their employees and their immediate family. Health insurance protects us from unexpected, high medical costs. It seems to me that some people who has a better health insurance coverage doesn’t take care of themselves because they know that they can go to the hospital anytime compare to those who have insurance but with big amount of deductible on every check-up. Although some may be taking advantages, I do not agree with the idea that people who cause their own illness should pay more for their healthcare. It is difficult to prove self-inflicted diseases. There is no guarantee that if you don’t smoke you won’t get lung cancer. Furthermore, healthy lifestyle doesn’t guarantee a long and healthy life. I myself exercise a lot but recently diagnosed with high blood pressure. My parents also eat healthy food such as organic vegetables and fruits but despite of it, my Mom developed diabetes. Unhealthy lifestyle alone does not cause diseases. Stress may be a factor too. Stress is a natural physical and mental reaction to life experiences. Frequent or chronic stress will make our heart work too hard for too long that may cause stroke or heart attack. I don’t agree that it is right to let people pay more if they get sick as it is difficult to prove if they cause it or not. I think what the government can do is to make healthy food accessible and affordable. Provide more public parks so people can walk and exercise. Provide affordable mental health professional services. In this way, we can continue to be healthy not just physically but mentally too.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system,
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
referred to as healthcare system, is the organization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, institutions, and resources that deliver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care services to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
needs of target populations. The fundamental purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care is to enhance quality of life by improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Several countries have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way of providing healthcare to their citizens.

A determiner is probably missing here: "In the UAE".
In UAE
, it is mandatory that employers provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
to their employees and their immediate family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
protects us from unexpected, high medical costs. It seems to me that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
coverage doesn’t take care of themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know that they can go to the hospital anytime compare to those who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of deductible on every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-up. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may be taking advantages, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
illness should pay more for their healthcare. It is difficult to prove self-inflicted diseases. There is no guarantee that if you don’t smoke you won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lung cancer.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle doesn’t guarantee a long and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life. I myself exercise a lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
recently diagnosed with high blood pressure. My parents
also
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food such as organic vegetables and fruits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
it, my Mom developed diabetes. Unhealthy lifestyle alone does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
diseases.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stress
may be a factor too.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stress
is a natural physical and mental reaction to life experiences. Frequent or chronic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our heart work too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for too long that may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
stroke or heart attack.

I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay more if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick as it is difficult to prove if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
it or not. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
what the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can do is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food accessible and affordable. Provide more public parks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can walk and exercise. Provide affordable mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
professional services. In this way, we can continue to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mentally too.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts