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Student prefer doing part time job during their studies .do you think this has advantage or disadvantage?Student prefer doing part time job during their studies .do you think this has advantage or disadvantage?

Nowadays students prefer doing temporary jobs with their studies. this essay will argue that d part time jobS along with the studies have movre disadvantage than their advantages Working along with studies creates more pressure for students at very young age which is the most fruitful era of the life. It makes difficult for the student to focus on studies which may affect their perfomance at school or university. It also leaves no time for the students for their hobbies and interests. As per the survey done it is prooved that youngsters with the part time job affect their academics perfomance or some even leave their studies which is more essential for their future. Nevertheless despite of above drawbacks their are some benifits of part time jobs. One can come more independent at young age as it will help them in adding to their pocket money and less reliant on their parents. temporary jobs helps the students in improving management skills such as money, time etc as well as social skills such as communication skills etc which is benifitial for their future. It also add a experience for the student which alivates ther resume. This essay argued that cons of partial jobs are more than its pros In my prospective one should firstly focus on the studies and gain knowledge rather than working. If a individual have a good nknowledge and skills it will help them to nhave a brighter future.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer doing temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
this
essay will argue that d part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
jobS
along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
movre
disadvantage than their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
advantages


Working along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
creates more pressure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age which is the most fruitful era of the life. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
which may affect their
Possible spelling mistake found.
perfomance
at school or university. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their hobbies and interests. As per the survey done it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
prooved
that youngsters with the part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
affect their academics
Possible spelling mistake found.
perfomance
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
which is more essential for their future.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
Did you mean “despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
despite of
above drawbacks
Did you mean “there”?
their
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
of part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. One can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
more independent at young age as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in adding to their pocket money and less reliant on their parents.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in improving management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
etc
as well
as social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
etc which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifitial
for their future. It
also
After ‘It’, use the third-person verb form “adds”.
add
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
experience for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
which
Possible spelling mistake found.
alivates
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther
resume.

This essay argued that cons of partial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are more than its pros In my prospective one should
firstly
focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and gain knowledge
rather
than working. If
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
individual have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
nknowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
Possible spelling mistake found.
nhave
a brighter future.
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IELTS essay Student prefer doing part time job during their studies. do you think this has advantage or disadvantage? Student prefer doing part time job during their studies. do you think this has advantage or disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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