Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Student perform better if they are rewarded rather than punished Do you agree or disagree?

Student perform better if they are rewarded rather than punished DabAm
The role of teachers in a child's development is vitally important. Personally I agree with the statement that school children study better when they are gifted for their efforts instead of being punished. On the one hand punishing pupils help them to improve the feeling of responsibility to do all their tasks by given teacher. For instance, Majority of people who succeed in winning various global competitions in terms of school subjects are japanese where pupils are strictly controlled by their teacher. Moreover if young children are not punished at school they may not take information tought in the classes so seriously which leads to laziness in the furure On the other hand, once students are rewarded for their homework, they do their next homework better than the previous one to get a gift again. Because a student who has received a gift once will try to receive a gift again the next time. For example, for example, in America, students are rewarded by their teachers for every 5 marks they receive, and this has a positive effect on their next endeavor. Furthermore Rewarding students improves the quality of the education system and helps many young prodigies to grow up. In conclusion I personally contemplate that rewarding pupils is the most beneficial to motivate them to perform well at schools.
The role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in a child's development is
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Personally
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children study better when they
are gifted
for their efforts
instead
of
being punished
.

On the one hand punishing pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the feeling of responsibility to do all their tasks by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
For instance
,
It seems that an article is missing.
Majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who succeed in winning various global competitions in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects are
Possible spelling mistake found.
japanese
where pupils are
strictly
controlled by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
if young children are not punished at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they may not take information
Possible spelling mistake found.
tought
in the classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
seriously
which leads to laziness in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
furure


On the other hand
, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are rewarded
for their homework, they do their
next
homework better than the previous one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a gift again.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who has received a gift once will try to receive a gift again the
next
time.
For example
,
for example
, in America,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are rewarded
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
for every 5 marks they receive, and this has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on their
next
endeavor.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
Rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of the education system and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young prodigies to grow up.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
personally
contemplate that rewarding pupils is the most beneficial to motivate them to perform well at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Student perform better if they are rewarded rather than punished

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Student perform better if they are rewarded rather than punished Do you agree or disagree?