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The rise in people living alone is causing negative changes to society. To what extent do you agree?

The rise in people living alone is causing negative changes to society. GW1nB
The 21st century has many social changes, so people when they are old enough have decided to move out and live independently to pursue their plans and dreams. However, this issue still has many negative points and this essay will analyze the disadvantages that people living alone can cause to society. Firstly, social skills have rapidly declined in recent years due to the advent of technology, the internet and social media; more people prefer to communicate with others through computer screens rather than in person. Choosing to live alone may worsen these already concerning issue as people would be more isolated than ever before. This can heighten feelings of loneliness and lead to detrimental health problems such as depression, anxiety and a decreased ability to form strong bonds with others. Secondly, people living alone can feel comfortable because they can live alone and freely, without parental intervention. However, we all know that there are a lot of expenses to take care of, housing, living expenses, school expenses and other extra costs. So, you will have to work hard to earn an income, which will affect your study and acquisition of knowledge. Another important reason is that, when you live alone you can risk facing many temptations of society, evils all around us and if you really have a strong will, you can can be avoided. In conclusion, the issue of leaving alone has advantages and disadvantages, the important thing is in you and you need to be in control of your life to be able to enjoy the freedom at the same time.
The 21st century has
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many
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
,
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so
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people
when they are
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old
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enough
have decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out and
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live
independently
to pursue their plans and dreams.
However
, this issue
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points and this essay will analyze the disadvantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
can cause to society.

Firstly
, social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
have
rapidly
declined in recent years due to the advent of technology, the internet and social media; more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to communicate with others through computer screens
rather
than in person. Choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
may worsen these already concerning issue as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be more isolated than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This can heighten feelings of loneliness and lead to detrimental health problems such as depression, anxiety and a decreased ability to form strong bonds with others.

Secondly
,
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people
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
can feel comfortable
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because
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
and
freely
, without parental intervention.
However
, we all know that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
expenses to take care of, housing, living expenses, school expenses and other extra costs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, you will
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have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn an income, which will affect your study and acquisition of knowledge.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that, when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
temptations of society, evils all around us and if you
really
have a strong will, you
Possible typo: you repeated a word
can can
be avoided
.

In conclusion
, the issue of leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
has advantages and disadvantages, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is in you and you need to be in control of your life to be able to enjoy the freedom at the same time.
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IELTS essay The rise in people living alone is causing negative changes to society.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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