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Stress related illnesses are becoming more common. What are the causes and the solutions for this.

Stress related illnesses are becoming more common. What are the causes and the solutions for this. OlyKN
In the present day, stress-related illnesses have escalated significantly. This essay will discuss the main reasons for the rise in this suffering such as longer working hours and increasing job pressures. It will also elaborate on the solutions to these problems. The main cause of stress-related illnesses is the increase in working hours. More and more people are working overtime in order to complete their tasks. As most of the work is being done on computers, there is a rise in screen time which in turn leads to headaches and a decrease in visual acuity. In other words, where as 20 years ago, the average working hours were 8 per day, now it is more like 9 to 10 hours per day. Second factor that is associated with rising mental illnesses is the long commute areas. After working hard in the office we would like to find transport easy and convenient. This does not happen. Running after a bus or a train, taking a cab adds to the inconvenience. Many people travel for more than one hour to reach their workplace. The driving can be hectic due to high traffic and some unlawful individuals on the streets. When it comes to solutions, things are easier said than done. To begin with, the working hours must be reduced. The employee should be allowed to chose if they wish to stay in the office snd work or work from home. As there will be no traveling, it will save the individual plenty of time. Linning up on the motorway and honking etc can all be avoided. The other solution will be to decrease the working hours by allowing them to take a longer lunch break. During that time they can engage in different activities which have a good social and physical impact. Joining a gym and taking time to go there during lunchtime or sitting with a friend for coffee are additional measures that can be taken. In conclusion, many people would cooperate if certain measures were taken to decrease the working hours and also to limit the amount of travel needed for the day. This will show a positive result on the mental well-being of an individual.
In the present day,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related illnesses have escalated
significantly
. This essay will discuss the main reasons for the rise in this suffering such as longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and increasing job pressures. It will
also
elaborate on the solutions to these problems. The main cause of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related illnesses is the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. More and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
overtime in order to complete their tasks. As most of the work is
being done
on computers, there is a rise in screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which in turn leads to headaches and a decrease in visual acuity.
In other words
,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
20 years ago, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
were 8 per day,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is more like 9 to 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per day. Second factor that
is associated
with rising mental illnesses is the long commute areas. After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in the office we would like to find transport easy and convenient. This does not happen. Running after a bus or a train, taking a cab
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to the inconvenience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel for more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
to reach their workplace. The driving can be hectic due to high traffic and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unlawful individuals on the streets. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to solutions, things are easier said than done. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. The employee should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
Did you mean "choose"?
chose
if they wish to stay in the office
Possible spelling mistake found.
snd
work or work from home. As there will be no traveling, it will save the individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linning
up on the motorway and honking etc can all
be avoided
. The other solution will be to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
by allowing them to take a longer lunch break. During that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they can engage in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities which have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social and physical impact. Joining a gym and taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go there during lunchtime or sitting with a friend for coffee are additional measures that can
be taken
.
In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would cooperate if certain measures
were taken
to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and
also
to limit the amount of travel needed for the day. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result on the mental well-being of an individual.
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IELTS essay Stress related illnesses are becoming more common. What are the causes and the solutions for this.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
366 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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