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Strees-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Strees-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? bYbk3
People frequently getting sick because of high stress. This essay will discuss main causes of stress-related sickness including continuous working hours and increased job pressures. This essay will also suggest solutions to these problems such as improving one’s work-life balance and delegates job duties to peer and subordinates. Firstly, the main reason is long work hours. People willing to take long hour job without understanding it consequences. Employees end ups spending lot of time for work activity which leaves no time for relax and family. This adds up much stress, which leads the sickness. For Example, the heart related problems are increased to 20% more for employees than common person. Secondly, People intent to take high pressures job for better life. But, ends up by getting huge deliverables, which creates an unmanageable stress, which leads the exhaust and unhappiness. For instance, Employee taking high pressure job doesn’t spend much time with family and kids, which breaks the happiness in family. The solution for these problems will be balancing work-life and distributes jobs to peers respectively. To begin with, one should spend time for family and work and able to allocate times for personal and work without impacting one other. To illustrate, Employee invest only 8 hours weekdays to work, which will enable him/her to spend time with family. Furthermore, worker plans to delegates their job across peers and reports. In this way, worker can buy some time for leisure and family. To exemplify, there is a recent study indicates that, employee who actively delegates their work to reports and colleagues spend 15% more time with family. To recapitulate, the impact of high stress in people’s life briefly, this essay discussed main causes of stress-related sickness including continuous working hours and increased job pressures and also it suggested the solutions to these problems such as improving one’s work-life balance and delegates job duties to peer and subordinates.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
frequently
getting sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. This essay will discuss main causes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related sickness including continuous working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
. This essay will
also
suggest solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as improving one’s work-life balance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delegates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
duties to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
and subordinates.

Firstly
, the main reason is long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
willing to take long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without understanding it consequences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
ups spending
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
activity which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for relax and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
up much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, which leads the sickness.
For Example
, the heart related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are increased
to 20% more for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
than common person.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
intent to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for better life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, ends up by getting huge deliverables, which creates an unmanageable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, which leads the exhaust and unhappiness.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employee
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and kids, which breaks the happiness in family.

The solution for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
will be balancing work-life and distributes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
respectively
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and able to allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
for personal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without impacting one other. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employee
invest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
weekdays to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, which will enable him/her to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Furthermore
, worker plans to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "delegate".
delegates
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
and reports. In this way, worker can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for leisure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To exemplify, there is a recent study indicates that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
who
actively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delegates
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to reports and colleagues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
15% more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family.

To recapitulate, the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life
briefly
, this essay discussed main causes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related sickness including continuous working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
and
also
it suggested the solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as improving one’s work-life balance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delegates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
duties to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
and subordinates.
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IELTS essay Strees-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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