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country exports in various categories

country exports in various categories xm2Ry
The provided data depicts the revenue of a country exporting numerous categories and the percentage change in values of each category for the period of 2015 and 2016. Overall, the petroleum products were exported and pumped more than $60 billion into the economy compared to the textile industry which just contributed half of the petroleum revenue as per 2016 data. As per the information, the country's earnings from the petroleum industry were the highest in 2015, and in the following year there was an increase of 3% in exports thus, the revenue touched close to $62 billion in 2016. Similarly, the export of the engineered goods rose by 8. 5% in 2016, and the earnings were nearly the same as the petro products. Whereas the export of gems and jewelry dropped by 5. 18% in the year 2016, thus, the income from this category dropped slightly averaging above $40 billion. Furthermore, the agriculture sector exports were varied merely by 0. 81% and the revenue from the exported products was more than 30 billion dollars in the years 2015 and 2016. Lastly, the textiles industry showed a drastic increase in the export, the values jumped by 15. 24% from the year 2015. Hence, the income from this industry was nearly the agro products in 2016 compared to just $25 billion in 2015.
The provided data depicts the
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revenue
of a country exporting numerous categories and the percentage
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change
in values of each category for the period of 2015 and 2016.

Overall
, the petroleum
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products
were exported
and pumped more than $60
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billion
into the economy compared to the textile
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industry
which
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just
contributed half of the petroleum
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revenue
as per 2016 data.

As per the information, the country's earnings from the petroleum
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industry
were the highest in 2015, and in the following
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year
there was an increase of 3% in
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exports
thus
, the
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revenue
touched close to $62
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billion
in 2016.
Similarly
, the
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export
of the engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
rose by 8. 5% in 2016, and the earnings were
nearly
the same as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
petro
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products
. Whereas the
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export
of gems and jewelry dropped by 5. 18% in the
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year
2016,
thus
, the income from this category dropped
slightly
averaging above $40 billion.

Furthermore
, the agriculture sector
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exports
were varied
merely
by 0. 81% and the
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revenue
from the exported
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products
was more than 30
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billion
dollars in the years 2015 and 2016.
Lastly
, the
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textiles
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industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a drastic increase in the
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export
, the values jumped by 15. 24% from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2015.
Hence
, the income from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
was
nearly
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
agro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in 2016 compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
$25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2015.
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IELTS essay country exports in various categories

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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