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Story about social media

Story about social media y7DNJ
نیلوفر جعفری: usually follow my news on TV and I think it is the best way because TV news, despite broadcasting at different times, brings us the latest news every time, and the same can be said as a reason for forgetting the radio. The news covered by the radio is a bit low quality and without any updates, but there is another way to get the news of the newspaper, which is not as popular as the radio, and this problem can be solved only with the thinking of the officials. The last way I follow the news It is the most portable source of mobile phones, which means I follow the news with the media
Possible spelling mistake found.
نیلوفر
Possible spelling mistake found.
جعفری
:

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
usually
follow my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on TV and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the best way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, despite broadcasting at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
times, brings us the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
every time, and the same can
be said
as a reason for forgetting the radio. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
covered by the radio is a bit low quality and without any updates,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is another way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of the newspaper, which is not as popular as the radio, and this problem can
be solved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with the thinking of the officials. The last way I follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
It is the most portable source of mobile phones, which means I follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
media
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IELTS essay Story about social media

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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