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Discussing why people nowadays have less children than before and providing the solutions.

Discussing why people nowadays have less children than before and providing the solutions. NwyMj
In today’s world, the rate of newborns is decreasingly compared to the past that people tend to have a big family. Consequently, this can lead to significant problems of lack of new generations. This essay will demonstrate the causes and possible solutions of this discussion To begin with, the reason that is commonly mentioned is that there are higher competition between individuals than before. To clarify, it leads people to seek for a serious life which they have to learn and develop themselves overtime in order to be promoted in a higher position. Being promoted is a core factor for them to receive more salaries, so they can spend money for themselves or planing for their future. This situation encourages individuals to work harder to gain more salaries. However, once individuals are oppressed by stressful atmospheres surrounding them, they donot have sufficient time and money to rest or think about having a baby. Their diary tasks are enough for them to concern, yet having a child means that they have to separate their time to raise their children. Taking care of children also requires various responsobilities such as educational fees, cost of living, and food, so it is not an effortless job for individuals to achieve without any obstracle. The way to solve this concern is that the government ought to subsidise money for people who want to have offspring, which will be provided as a deduction of food, baby items, and other necessary stuff. This can reduce parents’ responsibility and encourage them to have children because their costs will be supported by the authority. Plus, they should create more occupations for laborers to work. A number of competitions among employees can be tackled by providing alternative jobs in the markets. Another problem is that there are enormous number of companies and organizations where they donot allow women have a baby. This is because they expect intelligent women to work for their company as long as possible, so they can gain much benefits. If these women desire to be pregnant, they have to resign from their jobs. Therefore, this is an andurous option for them to decide weather they want to have children and lost an income, or continue to work on and save money, which they can later have a baby. Having a child before the age of 40 is a superior interval that a doctor suggested. Hence, there is a solution to tackle this cause is that the government should participate and legislate every organization to support pregnant women instead of firing them. Company should help their employees be able to take a break and come back in their same position, which supports single moms and men who are breadwinner to not be the only person who has income. In conclusion, there are two causes that make people to not have children. Initially, too much pressure on working places encourages individuals to spend less of their time and money to live their life, which can be reduced by subsidising money on raising children. Secondly, organizations and companies should provide support for employees who are pregnant. I suggest that the authority ought to take this issue more seriously, which citizens can produce superior children who are our next generations.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, the rate of newborns is
decreasingly
compared to the past that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
family.
Consequently
, this can lead to significant problems of lack of new generations. This essay will demonstrate the causes and possible solutions of this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
discussion


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the reason
that is
commonly
mentioned is that there are higher competition between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. To clarify, it leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to seek for a serious life which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn and develop themselves overtime in order to
be promoted
in a higher position.
Being promoted
is a core factor for them to receive more salaries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for themselves or planing for their future. This situation encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder to gain more salaries.
However
, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are oppressed
by stressful atmospheres surrounding them, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
have sufficient time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to rest or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about having a baby. Their diary tasks are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for them to concern,
yet
having a child means that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
separate their time to raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
requires various
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsobilities
such as educational fees, cost of living, and food,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not an effortless job for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to achieve without any
Possible spelling mistake found.
obstracle
. The way to solve this concern is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidise' is British English.
subsidise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to have offspring, which will
be provided
as a deduction of food, baby items, and other necessary stuff. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
parents’ responsibility and encourage them to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their costs will
be supported
by the authority. Plus, they should create more occupations for laborers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. A number of competitions among employees can
be tackled
by providing alternative jobs in the markets.

Another problem is that there are enormous number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and organizations where they
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have a baby. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as long as possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can gain
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
benefits. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
desire to be pregnant, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
resign from their jobs.
Therefore
, this is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
andurous
option for them to decide weather they want to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and lost an income, or continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, which they can later have a baby. Having a child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the age of 40 is a superior interval that a doctor suggested.
Hence
, there is a solution to tackle this cause is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should participate and legislate every organization to support pregnant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
instead
of firing them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their employees be able to take a break and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back in their same position, which supports single moms and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are breadwinner to not be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has income.

In conclusion
, there are two causes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Initially
, too much pressure on working places encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to spend less of their time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidising' is British English.
subsidising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
, organizations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should provide support for employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are pregnant. I suggest that the authority ought to take this issue more
seriously
, which citizens can produce superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are our
next
generations.
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IELTS essay Discussing why people nowadays have less children than before and providing the solutions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
540 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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