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Statement of purpose for college admissions

Statement of purpose for college admissions 86KD5
My father's proffesion of creating and building structures, lured me into the design feild. Following his footsteps I persued my Bachelor's of Architecture Degree from Mumbai University. The course introduced me to various aspects of design and softwares used to make them. I love to learn new things and I was always amazed by designs of all sorts and not just architecture. Since the pandemic struck, it gave me more time to learn and experiement with various new forms of design such as Illustrations and Logo Designs. After my degree, I got an opportunity to work part time with a startup, where I got to work as a grahic designer; while full time being a junior Architect and assisting my father. This new startup branding experience opened doors for me to the world of digital media.
My father's
Possible spelling mistake found.
proffesion
of creating and building structures, lured me into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
Possible spelling mistake found.
feild
. Following his footsteps I
Possible spelling mistake found.
persued
my Bachelor's of Architecture Degree from Mumbai University. The course introduced me to various aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to learn new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
I was always amazed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
of all sorts and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
architecture. Since the pandemic struck, it gave me more time to learn and
Possible spelling mistake found.
experiement
with various new forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
such as Illustrations and Logo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Designs
. After my degree, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an opportunity to work
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
with a startup, where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to work as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
grahic
designer; while full time being a junior Architect and assisting my father.

This new startup branding experience opened doors for me to the world of digital media.
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IELTS essay Statement of purpose for college admissions

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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