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Sports events get the nations together and help alleviate the violence in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

Sports events get the nations together and help alleviate the violence in the world. with this viewpoint? Kl7a0
Worldwide games make the nations together and help to reduce the severity of violence in world. Competition between nations also increase fans and popularity of sports. Further, my views has been briefly explained in the following passage. Here, Sports in between nations increase the relation among two different nations. At the same time, this indulge one to know the background of a nation regarding a specific game. No doubt, one will be very proud about their nationalism in regard with their achievements. Nationwide games between two different countries also be a platform for authorities to meet and greet one another peacefully. Additionally, This also helps the country fans to move other places to encourage. Indirectly, it helps people to mingle with other country people without any violent attacks. Which, results in peace of nation. At the other end, due to tournament among nations the fights in middle of them can also be resolved. Government officials can have their meetings and can also discuss various points regarding their places and developments without any arguements. For example, if there are any political issues between the nations it obviously lead to discussion and fights. Consequently, this will develop the relationship among the countries. While, this also develop one to know the cultures of each other. After having considered all the above mentioned points, we can finally draw a conclusion that sports in between different nations increase nations pride and also reduce the wars among them. Also, results in cool meeting without any violence. This makes an individual to feel proud of their nation. Simultaneously, one will get motivated towards sports and encourage them to develop their career related to sports.
Worldwide games
make
the
nations
together and
help
to
reduce
the severity of violence in world. Competition between
nations
also
increase fans and popularity of
sports
.
Further
, my views has been
briefly
explained
in the following passage.

Here,
Sports
in between
nations
increase the relation among two
different
nations
. At the same time,
this indulge
one to know the background of a
nation
regarding a specific game. No doubt, one will be
very
proud about their nationalism in regard with their achievements. Nationwide games between two
different
countries
also
be a platform for authorities to
meet
and greet one another
peacefully
.
Additionally
, This
also
helps
the
country
fans to
move
other places to encourage.
Indirectly
, it
helps
people
to mingle with other
country
people
without any violent attacks.
Which
, results in peace of nation.

At the other
end
, due to tournament among
nations
the fights in middle of them can
also
be resolved
.
Government
officials can have their meetings and can
also
discuss various points regarding their places and developments without any
arguements
.
For example
, if there are any political issues between the
nations
it
obviously
lead
to discussion and fights.
Consequently
, this will develop the relationship among the
countries
.
While
, this
also
develop one to know the cultures of each other.

After having considered all the above mentioned points, we can
finally
draw a conclusion that
sports
in between
different
nations
increase
nations
pride and
also
reduce
the wars among them.
Also
, results in cool meeting without any violence. This
makes
an individual to feel proud of their
nation
.
Simultaneously
, one will
get
motivated towards
sports
and encourage them to develop their career related to
sports
.
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IELTS essay Sports events get the nations together and help alleviate the violence in the world. with this viewpoint?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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