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Sports and games create disturbance in student's life because students cannot fully concentrate on their studies.

Sports and games create disturbance in student's life because students cannot fully concentrate on their studies. pRDe9
In this burgeoning epoch of engaging in recreational activities creates disturbance in a students life, a contemporary human dwells in a world which is shaped by the latest trends and approaches coming across the globe points for years. The opponents and proponents have their own perceptual intellection to support their ideas. Before deducing a fair conclusion, I am going to shed some light on both the aspects in the upcoming paragraphs. To start with, sports and games are being associated with physical fitness and mental strength but, the benefits of playing sports and games go much further. First and foremost, students can learn many things from playing games together like discipline, cooperation, and team spirit and the best example is cricket, cricket teach how to play in a team and develop a sense of team spirit in students. In addition to it, every student should actively participate in sports to make their bones strong and healthy and constructively utilize spare time. As a result of playing games and sports, some studies pointed out that active participation increases blood flow to the mind which in turn enhanced memory, increased concentration in studies and developed better problem-solving skills. However, some masses believe that student's mind can be distracted if they spend their all-time playing games rather than concentrating on their studies. Moreover, they also say that some games are very dangerous for children to engage in for instance while playing football children can damage their legs and arms if they fall on the ground. last but not least, few others say that playing sports and games is a wastage of time for youngsters and they should focus on their academic skills. To prorate, after having a lot of thoughts and deliberations with myself on this topic, I inclined to state that yes Playing sports have some serious benefits in student's life. It helps them do good in academics, perform better in exams, and deal with failures in life.
In this burgeoning epoch of engaging in recreational activities creates disturbance in a
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
life, a contemporary human dwells in a world which
is shaped
by the latest trends and approaches coming across the globe points for years. The opponents and proponents have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perceptual intellection to support their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
deducing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
conclusion, I am going to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on both the aspects in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
being associated
with physical fitness and mental strength
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
go much
further
.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
together like discipline, cooperation, and team spirit and the best example is cricket, cricket teach how to play in a team and develop a sense of team spirit in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In addition
to it, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should
actively
participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their bones strong and healthy and
constructively
utilize spare time.
As a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies pointed out that active participation increases blood flow to the mind which in turn enhanced memory, increased concentration in studies and developed better problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses believe that student's mind can
be distracted
if they spend their all-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rather
than concentrating on their studies.
Moreover
, they
also
say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for children to engage in
for instance
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
football children can damage their legs and arms if they fall on the ground.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, few others say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is a wastage of time for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youngsters and
they should focus on their academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To prorate, after having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
thoughts and deliberations with myself on this topic, I inclined to state that yes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious benefits in student's life. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in academics, perform better in exams, and deal with failures in life.
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IELTS essay Sports and games create disturbance in student's life because students cannot fully concentrate on their studies.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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