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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education.Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion.

Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education. Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion. BJQLX
Today, most parents would like to send their children to extra_curricular activities and they gain knowledge of painting, drawing, dancing, music, drama and e. g. during school time rather than they spending time with more learning basic education. Obviously, I confirm that specific courses such as art, music or other materials relating to them should offer children and even college students in schools and universities. These material provide valuable and useful inputs for students in order to know and promote their knowledge about their own culture and importantly, flourish their talents or even may be as an entertainment and an amusement to them. Firstly, these subject thoroughly (deeply) are educational for us. The culture of each country are mixed in art, music and so on. To obtain future awareness, everyone should usually learning some portion of them. For example, play a traditional music instrument can help for unity of family and also increases sense of loyalty to country. So learning a special art such as music is vital for every person and school time is good situation for acquisition of them. furthermore, this courses can provide some opportunity for thrive children's inherent talents and school can play a successful role in this road. A vivid example that I remember clearly when I was studying in high school, I had some courses about Iranian's folkloric (traditional) music. In this course, all students learned so much both theoretical and practical about musical instruments like Setar which is peculiar (crucial-distinctive) to Iranian's local music. It is not possible for students to learn about them if school does not offer such kind of courses. Most importantly, one of students, his name is Amir, is now one of the best and the most prominent musician in the field of traditional. Hence, this courses can be benefit for progress inherent capacity. Additionally, offering these items, along with other course, in the educational institutions not only bring us education but also can supply a happy atmosphere for children. For example, held a dancing class improve spirit of children and they have a nice moment with other students. Ultimately subjects such as art, music and so on will automatically affect behavior and manner of students. To recapitulate briefly, I highly recommend that courses involving art, music, and drama should offer in schools, because taking part in classes certainly will increase knowledge of them about historical culture and change their behavior and provide them fun. Moreover, participants in classes get motivated to prosper themselves.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, most parents would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
In standard English, a word does not contain an underscore character (_). Make sure that the word 'extra _ curricular' is correct.
extra_curricular
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
activities and
they gain knowledge of painting, drawing, dancing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, drama and
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time
rather
than
Did you mean "they're spending", "they are spending", or "they were spending"?
they spending
time with more learning basic education.

Obviously
, I confirm that specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or other materials relating to them should offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and even college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and universities. These material provide valuable and useful inputs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in order to know and promote their knowledge about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture and
importantly
, flourish their talents or even may be as an entertainment and an amusement to them.

Firstly
, these subject
thoroughly
(
deeply
) are educational for us. The culture of each country
are mixed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To obtain future awareness, everyone should
usually
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "learn"
learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of them.
For example
, play a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
instrument can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for unity of family and
also
increases sense of loyalty to country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
learning a special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is vital for every person and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
situation for acquisition of them.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunity for thrive children's inherent talents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can play a successful role in this road. A vivid example that I remember
clearly
when I was studying in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
about Iranian's folkloric (traditional)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much both theoretical and practical about musical instruments like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Setar
which is peculiar (crucial-distinctive) to Iranian's local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. It is not possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn about them if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
does not offer such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. Most
importantly
, one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, his name is Amir, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one of the best and the most prominent musician in the field of traditional.
Hence
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can be benefit for progress inherent capacity.

Additionally
, offering these items, along with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, in the educational institutions not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring us education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can supply a happy atmosphere for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, held a dancing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
spirit of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they have a nice moment with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Ultimately
subjects such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on will
automatically
affect behavior and manner of students.

To recapitulate
briefly
, I
highly
recommend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, and drama should offer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
taking part in classes
certainly
will increase knowledge of them about historical culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their behavior and provide them fun.
Moreover
, participants in classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated to prosper themselves.
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IELTS essay Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education. Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
415 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education.Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion.